We are Here to Serve Each Other

Do you ever notice that when you are with different people, you become different?  Act different?  Different voices come up in you?  With some people, the voice of caring arises at times, others you are more on your guard.   I'm wondering if it goes further than that.  What arises in you is what the other person at some level needs to hear.  Or, from the other direction, we create what we need to hear from others.  The voice that wells up from others is what we need to hear.  In this way, we are all interconnected and helping each other grow, with our without our conscious cooperation.  Its a wonderful thing.

I'm interviewing the muscian Jam Alker on the podcast in a bit on this lovely Saturday afternoon.  One of his quotes that I'm going to ask him about goes something to the effect that music for him has been a way to express his grief, pain, depression, anxiety, etc.  For him, holding it in can lead him back to addiction and using.  What resonates in this message for me is the need to express the truth.    Holding it in does not accomplish the purpose.

Take my experience with the Woo Woo last weekend.  At so many levels, I think she is deceiving herself.  In the past I had kept my mouth shut, thinking perhaps my feelings had more to do with me and not her and generally  not wanting to cast a spell, judge, or put a label on her.  In this past I have shied away with telling anybody they were something, rather seeing that is my reaction to what they were.

And I've kept that inside for awhile.  And eventually it comes out in ugly ways. She even asked me, are you calling me "delusional" and I couldn't help saying yes.  I suppose its far from the "right" speech of Buddhism, but it gushed out of me.  It could have been delivered more skillfully.  But she has this idea that she is some kind of reflector (from human design).  All my senses suggest otherwise.  I feel her energy to the point of it being overwhelming and something I need to remove myself from.  To the point where I am clearly triggered.  Whether or not it is true or not, my impressions were something I believe she needed to hear at some level. If what I said was more about me than here, it likely will not stick on her or cause her any reaction.  But if she does react, then you know it perhaps is otherwise.   

I suppose before sharing "what is welling up in you" with others, it probably makes sense to obtain consent first.  Ask them if you have permission to disclosure how they are affecting you.

In any event, I think what really triggered me a couple of weeks ago was the Woo Woo statement to the effect that "I can feel your empathy for me, but I don't want it.  Its more about you then it is about me."  There was something in that for both of us.  There always is.  That is the whole point you know.   And its not just what Judith Orloff M.D. would say...lol   Its just portals and portals, like endless Russian dolls.  Some portals are better left alone.  I'm slowly learning that.  Shit, after 55 years you would think I'd have that figured out by now.