This of course happened between 330 and 5 am, which is generally when all the interesting stuff happens. Anyway, I was not really asleep, not really awake. Felt there was someone at the back door screen door. And it turns out, and this is the dream perhaps, that there really was. A black female and a white male. The white male had a beard and looked sort of like Kaedrich Olsen. The woman wore a hat, sort of like a jester hat with two prongs sticking up. However, when the women pressed he face against the window, which she was doing, the two prongs stuck up like horns, which was somewhat disconcerting. Then I remembered the teaching from the Upanishads, fear is recognizing the other. If there is no other there is no fear. And there is in many ways, no other. But I digress.
Anyway, this thought came to mind and because the black woman at the door was not some sort of demon, but was really part of the me that is the entire cosmos, I did not react in fear. I saw her as part of myself. And I could let her in as an internal voice. And she would have a separate compartment in my mind/soul, and would agree to not to do any mischief while she was there. At least not serious mischief. We all get in a little shit I suppose. So I agreed to let her into my mind. In a walled off area. And I can/have/will consult her about stuff. Like nightly visits to the bluffs. And the house on the hill with the dog called Flower. And the pianos. And the lemons. And the gummies.
And I was thinking that at this time of the night, it is like a bad drug trip, because something is taken away from you. The security of the mind and the structures and defenses that you have built with it. And a repetition and a nothingness and an escape from everything you do. Like what is really going on at a fundamental reality is a dance I do to avoid facing something. Over and over again. And over again, the realization that what i do is nothing more than the avoidance of this realization in new an creative ways, but always the realization that I will always come back to this place throughout time eternal. And in some ways, that is what i have been asking for. To see this in a dream, as opposed to psychedelics, so that there is less chance that I will run from it.
P.S. It is from the recognition of a second entity that fear arises. If there is no separation, no second entity, then there is no fear, unless you are afraid of yourself. Of course, I might not put that past me. I am kinda scary. Of course, what if you contain multitudes as Whitman thought? And I'm not just talking gut bacteria. They are all just you and you are just me and I am an eggman and and walrus, the last time I checked.
