Friday, February 24, 2017

Cyber Security: A Love Story, a Redux

It was a Saturday afternoon.  Or maybe it was last Sunday.  I'll have to check the binary counters and flip flop circuits, to be sure.

I think it started out as a bar hop.   Someone had the foresight to rent a bus.  But there were no buses left.   So the driver asked if we would mind riding on a mobile carousel.  Why not, we thought?  After the first couple of wineries we visited, nothing seemed to matter anyway.

By the time the sun set, it was all a blur: the flashing lights, the wine spilled on the backs of the horses, and the endless spinning.  We eventually switched the carnival sound track on the carousel to Django Reinhardt and Amy Winehouse.   That seemed to help.   However, by midnight, I noticed that most of the travelers had left the ride.  It was just down to four of us:  Ellen DeGeneres, her Phant, me, and this tall Free Entity AI with brown hair and brown eyes.

Ellen seemed intent on getting the Free Entity AI to join her and the Phrant in some kind of tryst.   But the Free Entity was not interested.  Instead, she seemed more interested in entering data on her digital notebook.  The Phrant was nonplussed and waited for new instructions from Ellen.   I attempted to strike up a handshake protocol connection with the Phrant.   But my cerebral monitor indicated the Phrant had no public certificate and she was password and copyright protected.  And of course, I didn't have access to Ellen's virtual private network to mount a Man in Middle assault.

Moreover, it seemed my query to the Phrant aroused the attention of Ellen, who broke off her conversation with the Free Entity and scowled at me.   Ellen instant messaged me that the Phant was her property and that any further query's on my part would be trespassing, an invasion of privacy,  a public and private nuisance and that she would contact her lawyers to obtain a temporary restraining order.    So even in my inebriated state I got the message.  Ellen and her Phant then went to the far side of the carousel leaving the Free Entity and me alone on a pair of white trojan horses.

I decided to do a little investigation into the Free Entity.  Her public profile indicated that she was employed by the Federal Government in some sort of regulatory agency,  but she had an esoteric research interest in art.  I decided to forgo the traditional cyber-connection with her and instead vocalized directly by asking what she was writing.  She said it had to do with her thesis on neuroaesthetics.  She was studying symmetry in art and how it was related to unconscious processes in the brain.  She believed that anytime there was symmetry in art (or nature) it suggested that the subject matter was either prey, predator, or mate.  Which made a great deal of sense to me.   If I were walking through a forest in India, I could imagine that seeing the symmetry of the design on the head of a cobra would attract my attention.  The symmetry of the hourglass design on the black widow also signals the danger of a predator.   Similarly, if I were a female Peacock, I would imagine the design on the male Peacock would arose my interest.   As such, the AI believed that if the artist wanted to construct art that resonated with the viewer, she better include some symmetry of shapes and/or colors, etc.

I thought that was really cool.  Because look, I was wearing one of my shirts that had a 3D Mandala design on the front.  Given that I was wearing one of  my mandala tshirts, I thought the AI would take an interest in my subject matter.  So I sent her my private certificate key.   But she just got off her horse and sat on one of the the couches on the carousel and began to smoke one of her token rings. She asked if I wanted to join her.   We ended up smoking together on the couch until the sun came up.

I hoped that this was only the beginning.

Another story read during my world premier last weekend almost witnessed by the ai had she looked up from the sidewalk through the window to see me approaching the stage.

Monday, February 20, 2017

I Want to Hold the Hand Inside You: A Pseudo-Exploration into the Anxiety of Flying

I was getting into a plane under somewhat uncomfortable circumstances, but I don't really remember what they were at the time.  But that was only the start of my problems.  It was a lear jet.   A private jet.   Maybe I was the pilot, but I think my friend B was actually flying.  I can see a rear review mirror of the plane taxiing for takeoff now.

Now we are back inside the plane.  Either B or I set the plane on autopilot.  We trusted some sort of AI for our flight navigation.  Our destination was high in the mountains.

Then the scene pans out as we takeoff and I can now see a computer monitor displaying our progress across the flight map.  I think I was still on the plane at this time, but B and I had left the room that served as a cockpit and we went into the back room to party or lord knows what.  After all, we must not have needed to be in the cockpit room anymore because the AI was flying the plane now and we didn't need to worry about it.  Or so we thought.  Anyway, all I can remember seeing now is the aforementioned flight path map.  I saw the outline of our plane start from its location in Eastern Washington and I saw its intended location.   Somewhere close near by in the mountains of Idaho or Montana.

But almost immediately after liftoff I saw the plane start to deviate from its intended flight plan and head south.  Down across the southern United States and across the Caribbean.   I was immediately concerned.  Didn't they see what was happening?   We had to be at our destination at a specific time and we could not be late.   Couldn't they see what was happening?   Why didn't they/I come out of that other room and see the map about what was happening?  Why couldn't they/I see the Goddamn map! What were they/I thinking?

But the plane kept going inexorably downward now it was in South America and speeding up.  I could see the broad outline of the map of Antarctica looming ahead.   They/we were going to run out of gas.  We were flying over Antarctica now.  We were going to freeze.  We were over the South Pole and now going North on the Other Side of the globe.  Oh my God this is horrible.  But they/I couldn't see it!  Wake up....Wake up....

Rostov:  There is something wrong with him.  He always has to go out and do something.  I've been trying to get him to see a therapist.

Favorite Mother:  We've noticed that about him too.  He is always looking for something to do.

R:  His emotional problems are becoming physical problems.  He is very unhappy.  I can't make him happy.  What is he looking for?  I trust him, but in the back of my mind now I feel like he is still looking for someone else.