Cat Scratch Fever

 I awoke in the middle of the night with cat scratch fever.  So I let my intuition guide me LMAO and I drove home.

I was Yin breathing.  Mazatech style.  Dr. Ray says open to the void, and I went into the darkness in my tanden.  And I opened up to everything.  Everything was the void, and I was breathing into it, like breathing into a vast aquarium that was reality.  And the reality, the aquarium was my breath.  I remembered thinking that this is what Elihu said when he talked about the practice of breathing into everything, or going big.

At some point the scene changed and I was experiencing my heart.  And it was locked.  And it was related to a concession stand and Kelly Walsh high school, at a basketball game in the early 1970s, where the band was playing "Shaft" or "Popcorn" or something like that and one of the high school kids in the band had an enormously swelled encephalitic head.   That was not a dream, at least I don't think so, but then I remembered a dream which was like 33 wine bar, and a restaurant in crowded square that I had never been to.  And the thought that this maze was no different than reality.  And that I had the choice to bring love and joy in, which I did.  And that joy was my intention going into this.  And the thoughts of Amy White suggesting that I dance with the channeled entity with joy.

And then came the little tune, the little nursery rhyme that comes in at the scary part of the journey.  And I immediately created space for it and wanted to hear it speak.  I told it over and over that I loved it.  And I realized that the joy that I could bring to this adventure was always always bigger than the fear.  Which is always true by the way.  Don't forget that douchebag.  

Then I remembered a very old dream I had.  So old that I had remembered it at various parts of my life.  Something about a house, which strange creatures and eating jello that makes you invisible.  

Then there was an experience of the immensity of it all, or sort of, but how we can only experience little fragments or packets of it.  Like little pieces of the divine sephirot.  But what do I know about that shit.  Then came Dr. Rays voice again, but of course it was going on the whole time, which is how I roll with these journeys these days and he was talking about the experience of our heart knows the past, present in future of all of our relationships.  So to know the heart, is to know what we are or what we will become.  And I thought that was kinda nice and wanted to remember it.  For that seemed to me is the highest bit of intuition.  And come to think of it, was kinda like that pre-cognitive stuff I was listening to last night on my drive.