Gainesville, Prologue: The Zero Sum Questions.

Start with the basics.  Do you believe in God?  This is not an academic pursuit.  If you do not believe in God, what are you really doing here? Are you just going through the motions? What keeps you in this life? Go deep my friend.  Life is calling you.  You can choose not to listen.  You can distract your self.  Is it your fear that keeps you in this realm? What gets you up in the morning?

If you really believe in God, you will trust the process my friend.  Whatever reality throws at you is part of God.  Even the scary stuff that results in your rape and annihilation. Everything is God in ways that we cannot begin to fathom.  We cannot understand it my friend.  Not while we are here.  I have seen it.  Our attempts at understanding are a dead end.

Sure I had a difficult experience in Gainesville.  I kept looking for clues trying to get somewhere.  I did not trust the process.  If I truly believed in God, I would have seen through the madness and the myriad veils put before me.  Or not.  Maybe there is no seeing.  Only faith and endurance.

It all starts there my friend.  If you don't really believe in God, it is just fear.  I will just wander around always looking for safety in what I think is  a hostile universe.  Repeating the same pattern over and over.