Why My Penis Does Not Hurt When I Urinate

The fact that my penis does not hurt when I urinate is surely a function of good penis hygiene.

That, and only inserting it into specially approved and certified receptacles.

The certification process to become a specially approved receptacle is quite rigorous.

To begin with, the receptacle applicant must submit all applications in triplicate.  Now I know that a lot of penis' out there will accept applications in duplicate.   But experience has taught me that only two applications can lead to what is known as "double trouble."

The expression "double trouble" originated from the band of the same name associated with rock/blues guitar virtuoso Stevie Ray Vaughn in the late 1970s and early 1980s.  I want you to focus a moment on the name "Steve."  There are a plethora of rock musicians named Steve.   Think about it:   Steve Tyler of Aerosmith,  Steve Miller, Steve Winwood, Steve Wonder, Steve Perry (Journey), Steve Gaines (Lynyrd Skynyard), Steve Nicks, Steve Stills, Cat Stevens, Steve Adler (Guns and Roses), Shaking Stevens, Steve Mariott (Humble Pie), Sufjan Stevens, Little Stevens, Stephen Cochran, Steve Albini, Steven Tasker, Steven Morris (Joy Division), Steven Howe (Yes), and the list goes on and on and on.   So what does all this have to do with the hygiene of my penis?

Its very simple.  We all know that rock and roll is the instrument of the Devil.   Further, the name "Steve" is also a conjugation of the words "St." and "Eve".   In other words, "Steve" literally implies the belief that the Genesis figure of "Eve" was a Saint.   To carry this one step further, we all know from our biblical interpretation that Eve was the first protagonist of the Bible that made a deal with the Devil. As such, Eve can be considered in a conspiracy with the Devil to deprive "man" of good penis hygiene. Therefore, to avoid "Steve" and all forms of "double trouble" you must insist that all receptacles submit their application in triplicate.  The triplicate is analogous to the holy trinity of the father, the son, and the holy spirit.  That trio can extinguish any known penis infiltrate or sexually transmitted disease without difficultly.   Otherwise, you will be inserting you penis, literally and figuratively, into the Devil, which is not recommended.    

I get back from Colorado.  The whirles travel to London.  I learn to breath in the Decatur Library under a certain degree of adversity.  More things happen that I don't quite remember as I just returned from the Friedman's party listening to Brooke Thomas and the Blue Sons.  Average, but for the appearance of Don Julio.