I Work at a Factory all Day and I Make All Kinds of Things

but the one thing I don't make is sense.

Instead, I make copacetic accessories for a little boutique down on the Gaza strip.

But Bob, I get asked constantly, "I know you are copacetic and all, but are you really better off than you were a year ago?"

To which I inevitably respond, "Its not at all about the space time continuum.  Everything you think you know in life is actually controlled by Fifth Dimensional entities beyond our comprehension who sit all day on couches and watch endless reruns of the Andy Griffith show on TV land.   Indeed,  these Fifth Dimensional beings manipulated human evolution in order that not only was the Andy Griffith show created, but it was put into syndication.  Remember the Cuban Missile Crisis?  The Cold War?  Ever think about why humanity didn't destroy itself when it had the chance?  Well the answer my friend, is not blowing in the wind.  Instead, these Fifth Dimensional beings kept humanity from certain destruction in order than not only would the internet be created, but cable TV, Netflix, and an endless supply of 1950s TV reruns available to any and all couch potatoes in the world.   Indeed, as long as the Earth rotates around the Sun, no wonder what else happens to humanity, you can rest assured that Cable TV will be available and streaming on some sort of bandwidth that is easily accessible to our friends in the Fifth Dimension."

"In other words my friend," I tell them, with a certain amount of glee, "the question is not whether I'm better off, or what my country can do for me, but whether the goal in life should be to not only carpe diem, but to carpe carpum.  In other words, you have to seize life by the wrist, pull it off that goddamn couch, and turn that freaking TV off.    And by the way, my name is not Bob, its Dick.   I hate it when people call me Bob!"