Friend of the Devil, Ch. 1

I met Satan at my wedding reception.

That may not be accurate.  I may have met him before them, but I don't think we were ever formally introduced.   When I saw him at the reception, I had a feeling that I'd know him for quite some time.  Like an old acquaintance from high school that I never actually spoke to, but was aware of.   Like they were in a different home room or something.  But I remembered.

Satan was talking to Judge Flynn.   At the time, I had no desire to talk to Satan.   However, I have always held Judge Flynn in high esteem.   I wanted to thank her for coming to the wedding.    When I joined their conversation, I was immediately struck by Satan's extraordinary wit.  Satan made the most mundane topic fascinating.   When I asked Judge Flynn how she knew Satan, she gave me a knowing smile.  A look that suggested at once no great intimacy with the man.  But of course, as the upturn of the corner of her lip suggested, "doesn't everyone know him?"

I could tell Judge Flynn kept some distance from Satan.  Her arms were crossed.  She kept looking around avoiding eye contact with him.   She welcomed my inclusion into the conversation.  I was intrigued and wanted to know more about him.   At one point, I remember asking Satan if he was a part of all of us.  This provoked laughter from both he and the Judge.  Judge Flynn gave me that knowing smile again. 

Eventually, the serving bell rang and we all took our seats.   Satan sat down at the table next to mine.  He seemed familiar with all the guests at the table.  When the time came to give toasts, Satan unexpectedly stood up and raising his wine glass stated that he had known my family for years--even my half sister Ruth.  This provoked a round of applause from the guests.   A rather ghoulish looking women, presumably Ruth, then stood up.   This came as quite a shock to me--for I didn't know I had a half sister.   Satan continued that Ruth was a product from the Pope's "failed birth control methods."  At this everyone laughed uncontrollably. 

I thought Satan's remarks were rather undignified and devoid of humor.  I seemed to be the only one in the room who didn't know about the half sister.     The guests kept laughing and laughing.    I became  more and more irritated and went up to Satan and told him to leave.  At this he smiled and responded loudly enough that the guests could hear:  "Samuel, I can't leave, don't you remember your dream last night?"

In my dream, I remember that Satan put me on a roller coaster against my will.  I was defiant and was flipping him off and yelling obscenities at him.  The roller coaster started slowly but gradually increased its speed going up, down, through loops and backwards.   It grew intolerable and I was nauseous.  In the dream, Satan was at the controls of the roller coaster talking to Judge Flynn.  Judge Flynn shouted up to me that the roller coaster experience would gradually become more intense with each revolution.  This sent a chill down my back.  My protests became louder.   Eventually, I woke up.

After dessert, I saw Satan talking to Craig Burke, who worked with me.   I never liked Craig.  He looked like an impeccably dressed weasel.  I always thought that if the weasel had lived in Germany in the 1940s he would have donned in a spiffy SS uniform.  When I asked Craig how long he had known Satan, Craig responded that Satan was a very good friend of the family and that Satan had vacationed with he and his wife when they went to Europe last summer.  I'm sure that Craig and Satan had a great time visiting their old haunts in Poland and Germany.  I was glad when the reception was over.