It was one of those days; a night time story

Nothing was going right.   I mean I was at the gym getting ready for a spin class and, what do you know, the instructor doesn't show up.  Then I go to exercise on one of those fancy new elliptical machines and, what do you know, I can't get there because my pants get all balled up in a knot and I trip and can't seem to walk anywhere because I keep tripping each time that I stand up.  I seem to be making a fool out of myself and everyone is watching.

So I'm sitting on my butt, legs all awkward and bound up by my pants and, what do you know, I see this dude with long hair and his girlfriend sitting at the other end of the bar which must of been in the gym the whole time.  Imagine a bar in a gym.  What a concept!  So I think that my luck is changing, and for awhile it was because now I'm up at the bar and the couple is giving me a drink out of their litre bottle of beer.   And I don't even know what happened to my pants anymore but I know that I can walk again.   And the beer they were given me was my absolute favorite:  Cherry Bourbon Barrel Stout.   You know the kind I had several weeks ago at the Rotary Happy Hour.  So everything is going along fine and I'm having the best of times and I'm thinking this couple is very cool.  And we had a long discussion on many far reaching and important subject matters.   I don't recall any of them now, but I know I was left with the distinct impression that I had found new friends.   The best of friends.  So we left and exchanged facebook information and promised to keep in touch and travel to Kentucky together this summer to go down the Bourbon trail and attend bluegrass festivals.  And that's when I thought things were looking up.

But the next thing I know I was outside staring up at the nighttime sky trying to fall asleep.  And I couldn't go to sleep and it was getting me down.   So I tried meditating and counting my breaths and that didn't seem to help either.  In fact, I started getting worried because all this breath counting business was making were worried because I could feel by respiration rate increasing and my breathing was getting labored.  I'm not sure what labored breathing is, but I had it and I know it wasn't good for my health.  Then my respiration rate kept increasing and I thought, hell, if my respirations per minute exceed 30 that definitely is not a good sign and if it keeps up for the next year or so I'm sure to significantly shorten my life.   I haven't read any medical studies of that actually happening, but I'm sure it has.   And its not healthy for me.

Then I just remembered to open up and let my breath breathe me as opposed to the other way around.  And then I remembered that each breath was a gift and must be appreciated.  Then I felt my chest and abdomen relax and I thought things were looking up again.  And my breath slowed down.  Way down.   And I was just barely breathing but it felt so good and I thought that this slow breathing is so healthy and if I can just maintain this for the next year or so I'm sure to live forever.  I haven't seen any medical studies supporting this, but I'm sure then exist somewhere and if not I'll have to create a podcast about it so that it can become true.

So there I was, all this slow breathing and all and I'm thinking things are looking up and I felt everything about me begin to dissolve and start to levitate.  And I'm thinking that this is way way cool.   And I think that I can just float anywhere in the universe.  And I proceed to do just that, and I'm going all over the place in the solar system and beyond.  Then just when I think that things are really really looking up I get propelled back down to Earth at a frightening velocity and I go crashing into the side of a building in the middle of a huge transformer grid.  I'm not sure how I did it but I went crashing through the wall of the building and amazingly I was not hurt.  But I knew I shouldn't be in the building so I hid underneath one of the tables and tried again to go to sleep.  But the utility workers were outside and I knew one of them would find me, and sure enough one of them lifted up the latch on the table and found me and told all his co-workers to come help him.

So now my little transformer room is crowded with people.  And I think its going to be one of those days and not end well and then all of a sudden, without me doing anything about it all the workers are now regular people, of all shapes and sizes and they are all smiling at me.

And then I think:   this has all been just a lucid dream.   Hey ma, look at me, I'm in the middle of a great lucid dream and I can do whatever the hell I want.  And I announce to the group:  "Hey people, we are in the middle of a lucid dream.   And we can do anything we want.   So lets make this the best lucid dream ever.  Whose with me on this?"  And the group loved it.  Everyone was congratulating each other for being in such a cool dream.  And this lady next to me with the biggest round face smile you have ever seen tells me, "I'm with you, we all are."

And I feel great.  And I never want this dream to end.  But then it does and I'm back in the room with the old goose down comforter that always makes me sneeze I remember I have to get ready for a trial.  And I knew then that it was going to be one of those days.

I sort of help MC the bike club meeting.   I smuggle in wine.  Love loved it.  Its the same old decatur story:  coco mero, tj maxx, the library, big lots, and of course, that master of all that is bargain organic foods, the store formerly known as kroger.  in fact, its still known as that, to the best of my recollection.