The alien invasion unfolded with unrelenting effectiveness and efficiency.
The earth's armed forces were destroyed in the first day, having found the aliens resistant to both conventional and non-conventional arms.
On the other hand, any proximity to the alien's energy beams was instantly lethal.
On my part, I was luckily saved due to my proximity to an obscure religious cult's convention at the Reid's Harvest House in Chester, Illinois. As fate would have it, I was in day three of an expected two week trial at the Randolph County Courthouse when the invasion started. We were all told to seek shelter, so I scrambled into the basement of the Harvest House.
The basement was already filled with of a bunch of people in tie dyed clothing gathered around their leader, a middle aged woman with flowing long grey black hair hair wearing a tie dyed dress. These people did not seem to be concerned about the alien invasion going on outside--instead, they appeared to be involved in some sort of weird religious ceremony. The woman, who I took to be some sort of priest, was pirouetting around the symbol of a natraja drawn in chalk on the basement floor. When she saw me, she motioned me forward with beckoning fingers. I initially hesitated, but soon followed her direction and stepped on the natraja. When I did this the woman and the other cult members started repeating a mantra that started out quietly but increased in volume at each repetition:
Om me padme Priorat, Om me padme Grenache, Om me padme Rhone, Om me padme Priorat, Om me padme Grenache, Om me padme Rhone
Though all hell was breaking loose above us, cities were being destroyed, and aliens were landing in every human town and hamlet, I felt strangely at peace with all the chanting going on in the basement. I was transfixed by the attractive priest drawing circles in the ground around each member of the cult and then inexplicably the cult members sinking into earth all the time while doing this little hippie dance. It was if the priest was opening up some sort of portal in the floor that was sucking up all the cult members.
Soon everyone disappeared with smiles on their faces save for me and the woman priest. She came to me, put her arms around me and then disappeared into an orange shimmering light which enveloped me like the folds of a giant tulip closing all around me. I felt the floor beneath me opening up and I descended down the earth in the clutches of a giant orange tulip ship (which as we all know is a very unconventional way to travel). As I sank down into the orange colored darkness, I looked up and saw the aliens above me with their bug eyed faces and ray guns and I knew that I had escaped their evil plans with the help of my new cult friends.
End Part I.
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