We at the Greater Boise Metropolitan Chamber of Commerce (GBMCC) understand that global business has a choice on where to live and where to operate like never before in human history. In short, cities and countries are in constant competition with each other to entice corporations to do business within their friendly confines. Our future plans include breaking away from the albatross that is America and setting up a new country with ties to Ireland and other tax havens to bring back multinational corporations like Apple and Google to North America.
You may think that Boise is too cold. But we support global warming. If present trends continue, we can expect Boise to become a tropical paradise within the next century. Think of all the benefits that Boise can bring to your business: a clean healthy environment for you employees, good schools with an above average college football team, low taxes, and most importantly, low crime.
And speaking of low crime, we expect all of our citizens to adhere to the Ninth Rule of Fight Club. Indeed, we teach it as part of our standard indoctrination of all Boise high school students:
The Ninth Rule of Fight Club:
Don't shoot at a policeman, even if that policemen happens to be off duty unless you are prepared for and can accept the inevitable consequences of the foregoing action. This rule has universal application to all countries on this planet. This rule also applies even if the aforementioned policeman is being a total dickhead, asshole, and is otherwise being unreasonable. If you shoot at a cop, you better have an army behind you, or you better be planning a rebellion with many confederates. Otherwise, you are on your own, douche bag.
Note: Starting in 2014 the GBMCC will start a national outreach program to less fortunate communities, especially those in the Midwest, who seem to have recent difficulties attracting business and jobs given their proclivity to violate the Ninth Rule of Fight Club articulated above.
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