The man ain't got no hold on me nomore. I'm free. No more cellies, no more seg, no more guards. They let me out after that operation and all the work I did on all those god forsaken towns between Statesville CC and what used to be Tamms.
They think they can still track me and they took away my mojo, but I think they are wrong. Man I know in St. Louis says he can take out what they put in me to keep me in line. I'm not so sure about that. I don't want nobody cutting into me anymore.
Still I was glad I did it. Volunteer they said to be some guinea pig. Put this little computer in you. And work off your restitution in all these little towns that are too poor anymore to fix their own roads and sewers. And I wasn't the only one. Percy, Ray, Cecil, George, Taliani, Bahrs, Priest, we all did it. Especially the lifers. Do anything we can to get out of that shithole Menard and the cages and the endless summers that dragged on and on in the sweltering heat in 4C. None of us could take it anymore. So we let them cut into us. Signed the consent. Got the court order. Now we are out.
But sometimes now that I am back I feel as useless now as a whistle on a plow. What's left to do all day? I know I should start taking those pills again, but the fog was too heavy and I didn't want to sleep all day. And all these free people now walking around all day over and over again same old thing. I have to get out of this place. Find something new. But it would all be the same whereever I went. And it gets so cold at night sometimes. I still feel like I'm living in a dream and my face still looks like a stranger. I've been here a couple of months now, but its not like a I live here.
I should just turn off my brain and go download one of the books they gave me. And wait for the final session, I guess. Its like I'm two people, and right now the other one is running the muscles.
I go out the door, onto the street, and I head for St. Louis.
No comments:
Post a Comment