Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Guardian Angel Kroeter

My friend Kroeter from college had been dead for over a decade but that didn't stop him from giving me a bunch of crap on a regular basis.  Not that I minded much.   I was pretty lonely at the time. 

Kroeter was always online.  I have no idea how he maintained his Internet account after his death.  But every time I logged into Messenger or Facebook to chat, he was always available, 24/7.  I think he maintained relationships with a number of people after his death.   In life, I remember that Kroeter frequently exchanged stock tips with some Porn star named Asia Carrero.   I may have her last name wrong.  He probably preferred haunting her to me actually.   I think when he was alive she refused to give him her phone number or address.   No doubt, death provided him an opportunity to stalk her in new and imaginative ways.   I wonder how she dealt with it?  No doubt she had a constant voyeur.  lol.

When the ghost of Kroeter first made contact with me, I lived in a run down apartment near a large state university.   When Kroeter was alive he and I attended a small private college.  The state university I lived at that time had a ton more women on campus--but I still couldn't get laid.  I even worked at a job that I thought would be cool with the women.  But even though I worked to save the whales, I still could not lose my virginity. 

So my ghost friend Kroeter offered to help me with my predicament.   Kroeter was always giving me tips, always whispering in my ear when I talked to women.  In retrospect, it was kinda like Cyrano de Bergerac. You know, that French guy that could always say the right things to woo women, but couldn't show his face because it was too ugly.  But in Kroeter's case, he couldn't show his face because he was dead and I only I could see him.  Despite his best efforts, I still had no luck with women--even though I said all the "smooth" things Kroeter told me.  In retrospect, maybe my lack of luck had more to do with the fact I was old and creepy hitting on younger college women.

I remember one time I was in a bar talking to women and I thought I would impress them with my freaky telekinetic powers. My plan was that I would tell the woman I was interested in that I could move the napkin on the table with my mind.   I told Kroeter that I expected that he would move the napkin and the woman would be impressed.  However, when I tried it, Kroeter disappeared and would not help me.  Goddamn that pissed me off.  I stayed upset with him for a long time after that and didn't speak with him.

Many months later, Kroeter tried to talk with me while I was sitting in in the bleachers at a baseball game.  I was tired and dehydrated.  I wanted to take a nap.  Kroeter began massaging my forehead, just like you would do to a baby that was being grumpy.  I don't remember what happened next.  I must have fallen asleep.  Afterward, Pete only spoke to me in my dreams, like a guardian angel.



No comments:

Post a Comment