Ridiculously Easy and Naive Solutions to all the World's Problems, Ch. 1

In no particular order, I offer the following:

1.  UFO/Alien attack.   Nothing would unite the denizens of this planet faster or cause instant forgetfulness of all nationalistic/religious hostilities faster than a good old alien invasion.  Have you ever seen the movie "Independence Day"? That's right, Jews and Arabs fighting side by side to repel the aliens.  The corollary of that of course is that nothing unites various Muslim factions normally at war with one another faster than an invasion by an outsider.  Moral of the story:  let the USA not be outsider.  Remember the good old days when Iran and Iraq fought a war and we supplied arms to both sides of the conflict? That's what I'm talking about.

2.   Population control.  If everyone had one kid, in a couple of generations we would solve a great deal of our environmental and unemployment problems.  Think of it as an incremental plague like the Black Death.  For all of its horrors, the Black Death sure cleared way for a lot of space and relived the overpopulation problems in a lot of the larger cities of Europe at the time--making way for the surviving civic leaders to redesign the urban landscape.   Population control also offers these additional benefits without the uncomfortable side effects of widespread death by terrible means.  If we don't do something like that anyway, nature may find a way of reducing the population expansion in countries in Asia, South America or Mexico via some new fangled avian flu.  Population control seems by far the less drastic option. 

3.  ESRDTC (Everyone should really dislike the Chinese).  The Jews, Christians and Muslims  have been at each others throats for long enough. The time will come when people of the "Book" (e.g. its the same Bible:-)) will realize that they have more in common with each other than the godless pseudo-Communists who are the Chinese.  Of course the Chinese have good reasons for doing what they are doing now:  making the world safe for the giant anthill that their version of a future human civilization would entail:   a few queen ants who are multi-trillionaires while the rest work in slave shops.  Who knows whether the anthill presents a better vision than deluded people that base everything on a book and then fight endlessly over it?  The shadow knows.

4.  Let Catholic Priests Marry.   Really folks.   Even Jesus was probably screwing Mary Magdalene.   So get off this celibacy thing.  How much pedophilia is enough?

5.   Legalize Marijuana.   That's right.   And tax the hell out of it. Our country is in freaking debt up to its eyeballs.  Pot causes much less problems than alcohol.   Tax the shit out of both of them.  And quit spending so much freaking money on enforcing laws that even the majority of former presidents in the last twenty years violated in their salad days.  Listen to the Planet Money podcast on this issue if you don't believe me.