Mr. Lawyerman, Ch. 5

Mr. Phillip Smith, Esq
Amalgamated Insurance
451 LaSalle Street
Chicago, IL


Dear Mr. Lawyerman,

On behalf of all the employees and shareholders of Amalgamated, we would like to express our heartfelt thanks at the results you achieved in the recent trial of Dr. Nobase.  Though it should have been a slamdunk, Nobase's commitment to self destruction made the resurrection of this case a matter of colossal achievement.   In short, you bailed our assess out, and we are grateful.   This does not mean that we still won't pull the account and give it to a competing lawfirm filled with less talented attorneys, but hey, its all good for now, go have some wine at Its all about Wine.

We were especially impressed at your storyline of treatment of the plaintiff.  Though Dr. No was too frustrated and upset to provide the jury with any justification for any of the meager treatments he provide the plaintiff, your medical training (sic) and scouring of the medical records for the month prior to trial (even while I hear your parents were in town) was able to find the reasons why the doctor eventually ordered the MRI and sent him for a neurological consultation even though the doctor was unable to provide any such justification for what he did.

And its not like you were trying the case against a bunch of amateurs.  We actually looked up the CV of that attorney for the large Chicago lawfirm who graduated at the top of his class from the University of Chicago lawschool and was a federal prosecutor in Chicago for 15 years before he went on to have a string of multimillion dollar verdicts.  In fact, its probably a good thing you didn't look at his biography before trial.   You probably would have been intimidated.   Of course, truth be told, he was kicking your ass after opening arguments and up until closing.   It probably fortunate for you dude that his closing sucked.   And that you spent half the night prior to your closing writing and rewriting what you were going to say.  You definitely pulled this one out of your ass.

We agree that Dr. No was not articulate and that no one would ever pay him $500,000 per year to testify.   And Dr. Vance who earns $500,000 a year to testify was too smooth for his own good.  I know that you never make jokes at trial because you know that you are not funny, but when the jury laughed at your remark, I'm sure you were relieved.  We heard reports from some of the jurors that during the middle of your closing argument your eyes were gazing upward as if you were in some kind of trance.   What gives with that?

Anyway, congratulations again.   You are not a litigator.   You are a trial attorney.   I'm not sure there is a difference, but on all the marketing from lawfirms we get, we hear that it is better to be a trial attorney than a litigator.   So if it means anything, there you go trial attorney....