In my Kingdom, people shall stress the first consonant of all words
and there shall be no word pronounced "Notchka."
In my Kingdom, there shall be at least one sprig of Rosemary sticking out of each pile of mashed potatoes
and said sprig shall not be reused, even if it is not sampled by the diner.
In my Kingdom, Wine Spectator shall rate each wine at least a 92
and the post man shall deliver all wine without requiring the signature of an adult on each delivery.
In my Kingdom there shall be no latin or jazz music
except Miles Davis
and there shall be numerous exceptions to this rule which require prior approval (by me of course).
But in no circumstance shall the instance of any Latin or jazz music cause any reminisces of unhappy memories.
Indeed, in my Kingdom, all unhappy memories are strictly forbidden.
In my Kingdom, all doctors shall be able to press a button and all electronic medical records are instantly dictated
and I shall have complete control of all buttons.
In my Kingdom, the television show "Live at Daryl's House" shall be recorded at my house
and I shall actually have a house.
In my Kingdom, there shall be no expression like "What am I going to do with you?" because I decree that everyone shall at all times know what to do with everyone else
and if there is ever any doubt, I will dictate what must be done.
In my kingdom, people shall have sex in the afternoon or in the morning and there shall be no sex after 10 pm
unless they want to.
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