Go Into It/The Remembrance

There are so many rituals, so many attempts to remember, to hold onto some idea, some truth.  Because you know how it goes, the notion of capturing the uncapturable, the stream recreating its source goes against flow.

But I don't want to forget and have to start this over.

Like the fear in Ayahuasca ceremonies of having to be born again forgetting all that you were in this life.  I remember this vividly as they were trying to drag me back into the last ceremony, and I was clinging literally and figuratively to cars in the street:  as my strength was fading, I thought that I might not make it in this life, but I wanted to start from here in the next life, and not have to repeat.

The of course today, I experienced the flipside:  what if this is the life of forgetting?  What if I was at some place in some past life and I gave it all up to be reborn into this world and have forgotten something profound that I am now trying to remember?

So I listen in the silence for the spirits to guide me:

What ever you are feeling go into it.

If you feel repelled by someone, something, some hunger, some event, some thought, go into it.  Feel it.  It will take you somewhere.

I have just seen this world, the trees waving in the wind out and the farmhouse, and it felt that its all here.  Unbelievable joy wonder and light.  And I keep missing it.  Because I haven't just relaxed and blended into it