The Most Amazing Dream Ever

This dream continued where my nightly traveling left off, but much more powerfully.   In the dream, I had the ability to sense exactly where my attention and therefore location, should be.  After walking for a distance around the perimeter of the farmhouse,  I found myself in Edwardsville near the house where my old girlfriend C used to live near Green Earth Groceries.  In reality, I don't remember whether she lived there or whether it was some old boyfriend that lived there.  The house was radiating a red energy like a bad ayahuasca trip.  I stuck with it a while, feeling it consume me.  Then a voice within me encouraged me to ground myself.  So I came back to the farmhouse and felt the presence of the master tree on the east side, and felt its roots spreading out all over the east side of the structure, the other trees so much as weeds in its presence.  My attention then found me back inside the house, and I performed the reverse Kabbalistic circle closing ceremony that I had been doing all along in my LBR, but never know that I was doing it as such.

I felt still drawn to Edwardville, but each time I returned my attention to the tree, and eventually I was fully back.  And I felt a strange sense of exhilaration, as much as I had been given a gift.  This time, I did not squander the opportunity, I knew that this moment was important.  My purpose was to commune with the divine.   I built a pyramid structure out to the east of the farm house in front of the master tree.  I did not enter the pyramid, I knew that this would come later, but it was important for me to set up the structure and communication device.

I found myself in a basement.  The basement was rectangular and at one end were beds.  I was cold. My sister was sleeping beside me but did not stir.  I had powers.  I was floating around the basement and I saw David Wolff, my old acquaintance from high school.  I had a sense that I could shape David, like he was a golem or something.  He was blind, as if his eyes had been wiped off his face.  I might have done that.  I was carefully assessing the different energy centers in my life.  There were good influences and negative influences.  Damon, with his new YouTube channel was a source of positive energy.  There were others.  I was writing things down in my dream to remember, but I don't remember them now.  There was a moving van, and I knew that I would be moving from the basement some day.

There was a another room in the basement to the left of where the beds where.  I opened the door, and felt a wave of coldness and maybe a grey white light like so much wind.  I was to experience this energy, but not let it control me.  Inside the energy was another house. A small white house.  I should not stay here, I should go back, but its not clear whether I did go back to the basement, or stay in the house.   Indeed, my world may still be in the house, even now as I type this.  Its not clear.  If so, I should go back to the basement.  Really, I'm not joking about this.   Well, maybe a little:-).

Like a bad trip, there is more to remember.  Just bits and pieces.  I'm doing better about writing this all down.  This was important.  The pyramid is important.  I will use it in the future.  Blessings to you and yours during these times.....

Go Into It/The Remembrance

There are so many rituals, so many attempts to remember, to hold onto some idea, some truth.  Because you know how it goes, the notion of capturing the uncapturable, the stream recreating its source goes against flow.

But I don't want to forget and have to start this over.

Like the fear in Ayahuasca ceremonies of having to be born again forgetting all that you were in this life.  I remember this vividly as they were trying to drag me back into the last ceremony, and I was clinging literally and figuratively to cars in the street:  as my strength was fading, I thought that I might not make it in this life, but I wanted to start from here in the next life, and not have to repeat.

The of course today, I experienced the flipside:  what if this is the life of forgetting?  What if I was at some place in some past life and I gave it all up to be reborn into this world and have forgotten something profound that I am now trying to remember?

So I listen in the silence for the spirits to guide me:

What ever you are feeling go into it.

If you feel repelled by someone, something, some hunger, some event, some thought, go into it.  Feel it.  It will take you somewhere.

I have just seen this world, the trees waving in the wind out and the farmhouse, and it felt that its all here.  Unbelievable joy wonder and light.  And I keep missing it.  Because I haven't just relaxed and blended into it

The Exuberance and Sweet Tooth of Bobbie Kennedy

I was with Bobbie Kennedy and he was a blast.  Indeed, in the dream, it was difficult to tell if it was me or Bobbie Kennedy doing all these things.  One thing for sure, it was always Bobbie, never Robert.

There were hearings, but somehow he/I were not that interested in them and wanted to get away.  He was supposed to give campaign speeches.  And he did, but he catered to the youth.  He was partying with them.  He knew that getting them out to vote would be the secret of his success.  And he connected to the youth because he loved it.

He loved to go out to eat with his gang.  Large restaurants in Boston.  And he had an affinity for sweets.  I remember going into this Columbian? restaurant and he ordered cheese and cake and cookies and it was one big party.  At the door of this restaurant was a handicapped gentleman who was short and with a metal leg. The man wore some sort of hat and was smartly dressed.  I had the impression that given the location of the man at the front door he was some sort of beggar, but Bobbie communicated with him in such a way that it felt like a gift was exchanged between them that was worth more than money.

Then there was a woman who was on Bobbie's staff and there was a tight fit down a corridor downstairs and this woman also revealed she couldn't walk and she crawled in this tight space and soon another gentleman crawled up beside her and she brushed him on the head like a sign of affection and companionship.  They were no longer alone sharing a mutual handicap .  It was such a touching scene.  

I somehow knew in the back of my mind at the time that Bobbie was assassinated, but something about his spirit was eternal.  I should probably read his bio.  Keep your social distance, everyone!  :-).

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I Don't Remember Much of My Dream, Except that I was Unsatisfied With the Choice I Made

I had many dreams before I woke up at 1:30.   But I don't remember them.  Anyway, at 1:30, I woke up with that feeling of heaviness and lack of energy and the feeling that everything was disconnected.  I tried to walk outside around the property with my mind, but I lacked the energy to focus.  Instead of moving outside I felt drawn to the inside realm.

I turned my attention to my breath, and on my diaphragm.  I then moved my attention to the top of my head. I kept bringing my thoughts to the top of my head, imagining them merging into a white light.  I wasn't really paying attention to the thoughts, they were more like feelings and colored strains which I was weaving into the white light.  Soon the thoughts decreased in intensity and for an undetermined length of time I was existing in the area at the top of my head. It was a very focused point and it felt wonderful.  There were hardly any thoughts, and not any awareness of what I was doing or that I was in a room or was connected to the rest of my body. It was just this existence without any relations to space, time or distance.

Then at some point, I became aware I was dreaming and was lucid inside the dream.  I became excited and thought that this was an opportunity I needed to take advantage of--like I was granted a wish and could now do anything with it.  This was a lucid dream after all and anything was possible.  I felt myself soaring out over the horizon, but it wasn't the horizon of the earth.  It felt wonderful.  And I felt I was being asked a question, what do you want?  I hesitated a bit.  I felt that I should have the answer to this question, but I really didn't have one.  Sort of like an afterthought, I imagined that I wanted to go back to my birth.  As soon as I articulated this thought, I felt like this was somehow the wrong answer.  I went back into my body after that......

I think if I am presented with that question again, my answer is to go to that scary place I go to at ayahuasca ceremonies, or at least have on three occasions, the ceremony within the ceremony, and experience it without turning away.  Without the break and fear that I have to get away.  To experience the overwhelming realization that reality is not what I have thought it is all along.  And still have some little voice inside me that I can stay here and investigate it a bit, expand my little existence to hold the vision, if only for a short time, and return.

But the more I think of it, perhaps returning to my birth is exactly same experience at the Ayahuasca ceremony--the two are forever entangled in some way in space and time that everything is, and that is the great mystery.

Safe travels:-)