As we speed up, we harmonize with all of existence and are not separate from it. We see non-dual reality. And our prior slow contraction was just a dream, an illusion to this expansion. We were always apart of this, but we had no idea. We could not know this with our slowness just as the caterpillar had no idea of the butterfly or of flight, and the baby had no idea of separation and light.
To experience this for the first time is too much. It explains the psychotic break I experienced in Costa Rica. It was too much for my well conditioned ego to contain, so I went outside the ego. In my vision, I was looking for clues to understand what was going on. It was the working of a fractured ego looking for an explanation that existed a quantum level about its understanding.
But eventually all things contract after they expand. The ego expands to take in the new experience and integrate it, now a little more larger than before. For that is the tension, we are hardwired to make sense of everything. To endlessly dissect this great unity of a universe which ultimately cannot be dissected. So we spend our days struggling, like Sisyphus, in a losing battle.
Plants are full of life and DMT and expand with life to the sunlight. Fermented foods and alcohol are foods already decayed, already contracted, perhaps providing fertilizer for the next expansion. But certainly when consumed, slow us down and separate us from life writ large.
The expansion is calling me now. I feel it even outside ceremony now. Slowly showing my ego that it is all one big God interacting with itself. Slowly chipping away at my resistance. And the resistance is strong. For I will lose myself in the vastness. I will lose my family, my friends, my way of life, or at least my thoughts about them. Because they were me all along. Gaining a universe, losing my life.
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