Fuck Me

She said eyes closed mouth open
Hands at her side not touching me

I guess she must have meant it right?
You heard her didn't you?
You the guy on top of her, I'm talking to you.   She said it, I heard her, you heard her.  You have permission.  We have permission.  So what are you waiting for?

She doesn't want it slow either.   Faster I tell you.  Can't you hear her now?
This makes you feel good too right?   Like you are in control?
Its like a piston, up and down in an out.  Up and down, in and down.  Try and feel the rhythm. Listen, you don't have to do anything.  I got this.   Just don't interfere and we will get through this, I promise.

Faster and deeper.
She's still talking to you.  She's talking to us.  We'll come on, let's get to it!
Now she's wants to stick that vibrating thing in some other part of her.  She says that you will enjoy it also.  That it will heighten you pleasure.  Listen, I'm telling you.  Keep going along with this. Look at those tits!

What, are you fucking kidding me?   A deux ex machina?  You are really going to pull one of those on me?   At this time?   While all this is happening?   You are fucking crazy, seriously.  Can't you fucking enjoy something for once without screwing it up.  I am so fucking disappointed in you.  I am going away now.   Fuck you, you loser.  I'll come back when you fucking get a clue.  Or maybe I won't.  You are just too fucking emotionally abusive and passive aggressive for me.

But before I leave and cut you off for good, consider this:  I know you want some mystical union with this woman.  You want her to open her eyes and connect with you and grab onto you like she means it.  You don't want her to just lay there and get fucked.  I know your type.  You want to lose yourself inside her.  You want her to enter your heart and stomach as much as you enter her.  But you know and I know that its not going to happen.  You are never going to find a soul mate whatever the fuck that is and pull this off.   And when you tell them what you really want its only going to confuse them.  You want something they can never provide you because it must come from within.  See, I know you better than you know yourself.  Now for the even dirtier secret, you never found out what she wanted.   What she really needed.   You are just too self centered.  Good bye.  I'm blocking you.  Don't every think of trying to contact me again because I'm done with you.

Much later, the analyst puts down his cigarette and looks up thoughtfully:

Subject presents after a two year break from therapy.  Similar attachment issues to prior history.  Subject again demonstrates classic tension integrating "part-object" into "whole-object" milieu.  (this next part is illegible as it is smudged presumably from cigarette ashes) .....insists on what he considers buddhist radical acceptance of disparate selves.  Kind of touching actually.  I wish him luck.  Will see again PRN.