Empathy

When we last passed by our protagonist 40 years ago, he was listening to his caring mother's concern that his solitary ways were not normal.  She worried about him.  "You need other people.  You can't be on your own."   Such concerns were made with a caring heart.

The thought stuck with him.  Later, when he has been alone, there has been the nagging feeling that something is wrong.  There were other justifications he created.  Human's after all are pack animals.  The lone wolf is vulnerable.   Imagine an animal sleeping alone in the wild at night. Its a frightening story to tell yourself.

So our protagonist immersed himself in the constant business of being with others.   Though he was not a native to his adopted town, he had more acquaintances than many natives.  All the while trying to obtain his parents approval and convince himself that there was not something wrong with him.

But sometimes, late at night, we see our protagonist in a different light.  We want to comfort him with the following words:

Its ok to be hurt.  To just roll up into a little ball and shut the world out around you. To give up.  To curl up into yourself.  The world is vast and wide, but the tiny ball is small and whole.  You can stay here as long as you like.  It will give you peace.

 In time, the tiny ball softens, and you savor the release.  This is what its was all for, wasn't it?  This is your destiny.   And there is the white light surrounding you and you breathe into it.   And it fills your heart.  And this has always been with you, and you always want it to be with you.   You never want to forget. But you know that you will.   But your momentary sadness is filled again with the white light and the breath and you shift once again from your thoughts to the experience.

And when you are ready, you can begin to expand again.

You can feel your heart expanding to feel the entire room you are in.  Any room you are in.  Every room you are in.  No matter how big or small.  And when you breathe, it comes out from your heart and the room expands with you.  And when there are others in the room, the heart takes them in and feels their energy.   And you surround them with the heart.  And you breathe with them, in and out, slow and deep.

And you are beyond thoughts now in this white light and breath.  There is no thought.

And you are on the beach.  And you have been in the shallow waters where you can see the bottom.  But you are drawn further and further out.  For the horizon is vast isn't it?  It has always been there.  And when you look down now there is no bottom, nothing to stand on.  And you momentarily panic, feeling that you will drown.  But you steady yourself with you breath, and float out to the sun, gazing at the dark waters that have no bottom.