The Intimate Stranger Suite

"The Meeting at 4:00 a.m."

I seem to have been going about this all wrong.

There is a sick hurting person right in front of me.

I can feel him shake and cry all the time.

He keeps me up every night.

And I am not sure when when the last time I have taken care of him or counseled him.

I don't really have the slightest idea what he wants, the shape in front of me.

I'm not sure I really ever asked.

I had plenty of ideas.

But all I have ever done is demand and push.  And shape him into what I wanted.

I always assumed that what I wanted was what was best for him.

What can I do to make you happy?

What is it I have been missing?

Why are you hurting so much?

"Pay attention," he says, "and I will show you."

"Feel my beating heart.  Let go for once.  Really, and not just something you have read in a book.  Just give up and surrender to the pain."

 All I need is a hug sometimes.

"And you don't have to be that dramatic, and certainly not public about it.  So stop writing you fool.   After all, what you are saying is kinda embarrassing me:-)."

Now we both smile at the same time and laugh.   And go back to sleep.


"Love"

"We do not need to go out and find love. All we need is to be still and let love find us."

"Detritus"

Its always about you, you always think of yourself first.  Even now.  Even this stupid exercise.

You are manipulative.  You don't really care about me or other people.  All you do is manipulate other people to get what you want.

You are not my friend.

You cannot be alone.

You always go from one relationship to another, hurting everyone in the process.

You only are attracted to people who are distant from you, as soon as they get close, you spurn them.

You are volatile.  You cannot be trusted.  You blow hot and cold.  You are not stable. I cannot depend on you to be strong.

You are not here for me.

Sometime you should put other peoples feeling above you own.  It is not about you all the time.

I don't understand you.

Love 2

Thought processes, thought dynamics, feelings shape your experience.

Perceive love.  Become love.

Experience love.  Spread love.  Become love.