Let me see your Badge

 I'm not sure when suspicion for the disappearance of Lady C. fell on me.   It must have started because I was one of the last persons to have any contact with her before she fell off the face of the earth.

Lady C. and I go way back you see.   I even knew her before she was married.  In all that time, Lady C. always had this thing for Eastern Religions.  But it was always just a passing fancy.   Every now and then she would sign up for some seminar conducted by some guru.  It must have made her feel good about herself or something.    Then one day I get this call from her telling me she's going to India to live in an ashram.   I was completely blown away.   "What about your husband?", I asked.   "He's an asshole," she said.   Then she went on to tell me all sorts of boring stuff about how the marriage wasn't working out, blah blah blah.

The next thing I know, I was getting regular calls from Lady C. on Skype from India.  She always had some sort of towel on her head.  When I asked what the deal was with the turban, she said that her kundalini yoga master told her that her hair is alive and its energy must be conserved.  I told her she looked like a cancer patient.   She told me to fuck off.

Anyway, all of a sudden I stopped getting calls from Lady C.  I'm pretty sure it didn't have anything to do with my remarks about turban.   I was always given her shit about what a flake she was, so I didn't think that remark would have changed anything.   But as time when on, I began to worry.
But given that she was in India, its not like I could send out a search party or anything.  I didn't even know where she was.  I called my friend Max who lives in Mumbai and told her about the disappearance.   He told me, "Uge, my man, you ain't never going to find her.   There are as many ashrams in India as stars in the sky.   Its our national pastime--taking money from Westerners seeking enlightenment."

So what could I do?

Such was the state of events in my life until I get this knock on my door.   I look out and see this hot woman dressed in a black dress.  She looks just like that new woman side kick on Dr. Who.   You know, the one with the brown hair and big eyes?  Well I open the door and she barges in.  She looks me up and down and starts asking me about Lady C, when is the last time I saw her, if I know where she is, etc.   And that is when the interrogation started.