David McCartney/Linda Bowie

Recently discovered top secret documents reveal the startling discovery that Linda McCartney and David Bowie are actually the same person.  Speaking on a condition on anonymity, D. Delbert Fudpucker of the McCartney archive commented:  "I don't know what you are talking about, its so not true."   Of course, Mr. Fudpucker's body language belied his statement.  

I then presented him with the following photograph and asked him to tell me if it was Linda or David?  Or both?  

He refused to answer the question.  

It really shouldn't have come as that much of a surprise.  Bowie was a confirmed transsexual.  Linda liked her men as well.  I was just surprised that Wings and David Bowie never toured together.  That would have eliminated much of the complicated logistics that must have been necessary to keep the subterfuge alive.

The above photograph was taken in Linda's/David's 1976 Wings Across America tour.   Note that if you do your due diligence you will find that Bowie was not touring on any of the dates that "Linda" was.   David was back in the U.K.   Or was he?

And all would have remained secret but for the unfortunate similar buzz haircut that they both sported in the 1970s.   Our crack team of investigators learned that it came from the same barber at a Fantastic Sam's in the Soho.   I suppose that the deception must have been a little too difficult to maintain, so they had to create Linda's whole demise with the breast cancer thing.   How unfortunate.