Life Before the Beginning of Time, Ch. 1

We just returned from the hunting party.  It it is good to be back in the cave.   I hate sleeping on rocks.  We brought in three bison and an elk to the tribe.  Not bad for two weeks work.   Now the attention of the hunting party has turned to more pleasurable endeavors.   Ina and Herab accompanied us on our travels.  The men enjoyed their company.   I think they initially enjoyed ours as well.   But I think our numbers began to tire them.   Later they kept to themselves and enjoyed each others company.   We did not mind. 

Most of the women in the tribe had no interest in hunting.  These stayed behind.   Now our thoughts turned to them and a belly full of roasted bison organs.  

The question arose concerning how to select partners for this evening.   Mika, Teka, Jum Jum, Freda, Julb, and Sesta seemed amenable to our advances.  The question arose as to how they should be paired up.  Jona suggested an ingenious device of drawing a series of twigs with the shortest twig getting last choice among the women.  I thought his proposal clever, but I considered the feelings of the women may be negatively affected by being selected last.   I reminded Jona of our salad days when games of kick rock were played and teams were selected and he was selected last and how that made him feel.  He agreed.  However, before waiting on further plans he grabbed Julb and went with her to one of the coupling crevasses.  Jum Jum stood before me smiling.   Her hair was ratty and matted and her face was not comely.   I was not enticed by her advances, but I did not want to negatively affect her self esteem and thought it may have deleterious effects on the future of harmonious relations with the tribe if I did not do the dance of boom chick bow wow with her.   I noticed the others began to pair off and of course there was more men than women.   I went with Jum Jum to my favorite hidden crevass.

Thorb and Nowt did not select women.  They went out of the cave altogether.   I did not pay attention to them.  

Later I spoke to Thorb about where he went.  He was evasive.   Thorb was the most handsome man in the cave and women always wanted to be with him.   As time went on, I noticed that each time after the hunt was over, Thorb and Nowt would disappear and not select women.   I don't think any of the men cared.   We had other things on our mind.  

 

 

cemetery walk with Cecelia leung

We are all Caterpillars, Ch. 4

We are all Caterpillars
Beggars outside sweatshops
choking dysentery exhaust fumes
through thoroughfares
swarming as cigarette butts
hit the pavement

A tower of light spears the eastern sky
In the age of Kali
the meek prey without mercy
meager rations in every strand of DNA
save the harvest of AK-47s.

Behold the intellectual values that shape the revolution
success wealth population fame
life rolling along
like a pretend Mercedes
interrupted by a war no one saw coming

A new name on our lips
unspeakably hot and glamorous
graffiti daubed Help Desk
the all-conquering soap opera
under socialized ex-teen cyberwarriors

Sometimes I'm hot; sometimes I'm cold
sometimes I'm open; sometimes I'm closed;
sometimes I'm wet; sometimes I'm dry
sometimes I'm taking a nap; sometimes I'm in my office looking at records
sometimes I'm cooking; sometimes I'm baked
sometimes I'm in the garden; sometimes I'm in the yard

What am I ?

The Apolitical Activist, Ch. 11

The Trayvon Martin situation was unfortunate.   Zimmerman is no saint.  Trayvon Martin should not have been killed by Zimmerman.  But like it or not, the prosecutors had an uphill battle from the beginning in proving their case against Zimmerman.   Simply put, there were no witnesses to the final moments of the situation.  Though Zimmerman was unquestionably stalking Martin, it was unclear how Zimmerman came to be lying on his back with the back of his head injured prior to the fatal shots.  There were "reasonable doubts" as to how the killing occurred; and, in the context of the Florida self defense statute, it is no wonder that Zimmerman was found innocent.   Though he was found not guilty in the criminal case, I wonder if Zimmerman, like OJ Simpson, could still be found guilty in a civil court for wrongful death.

Indeed, what do George Zimmerman and OJ Simpson have in common?

A:  They had better lawyers than their adversaries.

What do Nicole Brown Smith and Trayvon Martin have in common?

A.  Their deaths were unfortunate
B.   A jury found their killer was not guilty of killing them.
C.   Their deaths and trial verdicts surrounding their deaths sparked widespread protests.
D.   A and B, but not C.

What is different in the case of George Zimmerman and OJ Simpson?

A.  A jury found that Zimmerman acted in self defense; A jury did not find that OJ Simpson acted in self defense.
B.  OJ Simpson fled from arrest;  Zimmerman did not flee from arrest.
C.  The evidence showed that Zimmerman killed his victim while Zimmerman was on his back; there was no evidence that OJ was ever on his back
D.  All of the above.

Still the verdict and surrounding protests have hit a nerve. I'm a poophead by pointing out the inconsistencies of the protesters and media in their reaction to this case.  Where was the public outcry that OJ walked free where the case against him was so much stronger than the case against Zimmerman?  But I don't know what its like to be black, to be the victim in social inequality--and to have another reminder of the victim status in the death of the "innocent" Trayvon Martin--reinforced of course by the media and politicians hoping to capitalize on the event for their own personal gains.

The Candy Kids, Ch. 1

Stardate:  August 13th 2008 A Candy Kid (CK) Adventure

As with all CK adventures, all characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.    Except for me of course, I am Salvador Carol McTiggins, proud Irish Catholic Alcoholic (well maybe not Catholic).   It is well known that I love to drink, I love to ----K, and I love to fight.  However, as of late, I'm not into any of  these things.   They are overrated.   I have more important things to do.   Sigh.....

My supporting cast:  Amy, Cory

SETTING: Industry, IL / Springfield, IL / Athens, IL

MUSIC: No More Words by EndEverAfter

**In this story we learn that its important to always carry some sort of tissues in your bag**

Forced my ex and his friend Dillon to drive me to Springfield for my yearly State Fair Candy Kid meetup. Ate some leftover beer brats which ended up being the worst idea ever.
Just passing Beardstown my stomach dropped and had to take one of the worst shits of my life.   See I know modern science has studied the art of the crap.  But as far as I am aware, there are no studies of concerning the scatology of the female defecation.   Let me tell you fellows:  its a whole new ballgame.  Anyway, got dropped off in front of my mums house ( because Dillon was too lazy to drop me around the corner at Amy's)...soo..i ran to Amy's, 3 overnight bags clinched in my hands, sweating from the 90 degree weather. I burst into Amy's house and ran to the bathroom where I took the most memorable poop of my life. Her brother comes down the stairs and says "I do believe it smells like shit in here!" ....I never ate beer brats again...after about 15 minutes in the bathroom I realized there was NO toilet paper! Had to call Cory up to buy some on his way over to get us for the fair.

With little to no money the only things we bought were pina coladas (which only upset my stomach more when I went back for a third one), and highly anticipated alligator on a stick. Some dude running a vendor gave Amy and I rainbow boas to match our Candy Kid attire. And for some reason random kids would come up to us and want to take pictures...soon parents were giving their children money to hand to us to get their picture taken.   In retrospect, we should have taken advantage of the situation and charged admission for them to see us and take our picture.   The CK are awesome.   One day the world will grovel at the feet of our esteemed awesomeness and we will receive the veneration that we are deserved.   In the meantime, we just assume we were mistaken for someone famous--that's why they wanted to take our picture.  

After the fair we went to Taco Bell where we got down on loads of nachos. It only being
10pm and still ready for adventure we drove to Athens in the dark. Not wanting to pull over to take a piss we came up with the evil idea to stop at the Athens "Welcome" sign and piss on it. We pulled up, hopped out and did the job. Not being an excellent precision pisser wearing tights, urine got on my leg. Not that I want to have a dick, but it sure would have made the precision pissing easier at this point.  Plus, again and alas, we had no toilet paper.   And in our haste, we had exited the taco bell establishment without any napkins.  To remedy our situation,  Cory ran from the car yelling "you can use the taco bell receipt!".  And I did. The rest of the night we drove around till 2am. No cops were called.  The good people of Athens were not interrupted from their complacent sleep.   Too bad their welcome sign has a big yellow stain on it.   Assholes.......

The Zen Guy, Ch. 17

Delinda's Sangha, Third anniversary.

The Appetizer:   If you can't explain it to a child, its either not worth explaining or you are making it too difficult.  I'm not sure how that works with subjects like quantum physics, but it seems very apropris to zen practice.  We make life difficult, keep it simple stupid.

Scene One:  the tent by the lake.   Enter the Regional Teacher (RT) and Kanko Jitsu.(KJ)

RT:   I haven't seen you in a long time.  Tell me how your practice has been.

KJ:  Mumbo Jumbo, etc etc.  More exchange of conversational pleasantries.

RT:  What is the sound of one hand clapping?

KJ:  No answer.   KJ thinks:   Here we are having a nice conversation, taking in all the sounds and sites, and he wants to go back into concepts and artificial mental constructs.   He knows, I know and the world knows there is no answer to this question.   So instead of following my breath, feeling all expansive--hearing the birds on the lake, the hum of the air conditioning and all this cool art on the wall, he is asking me to enter into this artificial riddle that has no basis in reality.   I see his hands move like compressing my experience of reality into a little box from which there is no escape.

Scene Two:  Back on the Mat.

Enter KJ, legs crossed, butt on a cushion

Counting breaths, feeling heart beats.  More thoughts:

Another Koan:   “The National Teacher's Stone Lion.” The national teacher and the emperor of China were entering the palace grounds when the national teacher pointed to a stone lion and said, “Your majesty, would you please say a word of Zen, something profound, about this lion?” And the emperor said, “I can't say anything. Would you please say something?” And the national teacher said, “It’s my fault.”

The Koan's prologue says:

"Confined in a cage up against the wall, pressed against the barriers, if you linger in thought holding back your potential, you will remain mired in fear and frozen in inaction. If, on the other hand, you advance fearlessly and without hesitation, you manifest your power as a competent adept of the way, passing through entanglements and barriers without hindrance to time and season. A great peace is attained. How do you advance fearlessly and without hesitation?

So we enter the Koan.  Noticing the sensation of tightness in the abdomen at the suggestion of the koan by the teacher.   Where is that coming from?  Feel it.

Day 3:  Dharma Talk

The RT discusses his teacher's description of practice.  Seeing habits and illusions. 

Enter KJ, legs crossed butt on a cushion.

Endless steaming of habits and illusions.  A narrative that continues to this day.  A narrative that feels like a gap between me and these floors.

The Soundtrack:   Rapture (Blondie); Cemetery Walk II (Umphrey's McGee)

Sort of Deconstructing the Sacrilegious Tendencies of the Irreligious, Ch. 2

"The Devil is in the Details."

Indeed, God is easy.   Easy to get all inspired when you hear the religious sermon.   But the devil is with you when you wake up the next morning after the religious orgiastic ecstasy is over.  When you have soiled your pants and don't immediately recognize your surroundings.   The devil is there to help you get up, try and ascertain where you are, and get you that water that your cotton mouth so desperately craves.

I was surprised that the "devil is in the details" expression didn't have a more ancient and exalted origin.  If you believe Google, the phrase did not appear in print before 1975.   I find that hard to believe.   Of course, we do live in the age of satiric irony, which goes hand in hand with the phrase, so maybe I shouldn't be that surprised.  Speaking of ironic, the predecessor to the phrase was "the Good God is in the detail" which was attributed to Gustave Flaubert.   Of course, Flaubert never indulged in any irony--one can only wonder what was good about the God of his detail.

What could be more natural than a belief in a God?  When the fetus is in utero, she is one with everything.   Easy for her to believe in monotheism at that point.   But when she comes out of the shoot, all the pesky details emerge.  Among them, that at its core, parents aside (if you are lucky), the universe doesn't give a rats ass about you.   And so, on those dark nights of the soul--or dark days--our grown up fetus has an overwhelming and guttural desire to get back to simpler times.   And have faith in an omnipresent protector.  Like I said, God is easy, the devil is in the details.

God is easy on the morality as well. Love your neighbor as yourself.  Take care of strangers. But what if the stranger who is your neighbor is Hitler?

Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

etc etc etc.

Don't get me wrong.   It all sounds great.   But the devil is all in the implementation, or the detail.  

Take care of yourself out there:-).

 

The Apolitical Activist, Ch. 10

The Special July 4th Patriotic Edition:

A very special "Fuck You" goes out this holiday to Steve Wozniak

You told CNN that "I felt about Edward Snowden the way I felt about Daniel Ellsberg"

Who are you freaking crapping?

You might be a computer genius but you certainly aren't a historian.  You should concentrate on what you know best:  like using Apple to evade U.S. Taxes by setting up dummy corporations in Ireland and transferring American jobs to China and thereby supporting a real totalitarian regime--rather than wading into the Edward Snowden quagmire.

As an aside, I could be dead wrong about this and if the government is involved in a massive cover up, and Snowden is a hero, then I will readily admit that I am wrong to Mr. Snowden.   But you Mr. Wozniak, who are presumably reading the same news stories as I am are a total douche bag.  Makes me want to throw away my Apple and buy something from Google.   Google knows the hard way about the threat of Chinese hacking into American corporations.   Sergey Brin, being a somewhat removed refugee from another totalitarian state (e.g. the Soviet Union) can appreciate (or certainly his ancestors can appreciate) the relative freedom of this country vis a vis the two countries that Snowden is presumably running to help him out in this case.  Where is Snowden going to try to seek asylum next?  North Korea?  Iran? 

If Snowden truly was a hero, he wouldn't have given the interviews he did to Chinese Newspapers.  Enough said.  Again prove me wrong Edward.  Otherwise, you are likely growing up in a hurry in the real world without the shelter of your geeky American life your cushy $150k a year job.  If you sleep with dogs, you get fleas--and you have picked the wrong bedfellows.   Now, though it probably wasn't your intention, you are being used for propaganda from Russia and china as a smoke screen of their much more intrusive violations of freedom.  

I'm trusting Obama on this one.  There is always a place for heros and whistleblowers like Daniel Ellsberg.  But Snowden is neither. We live in an age where some wacko or religious nut can totally throw a monkey wrench into the economy with an act of terrorism.  It makes sense to do the monitoring as has been disclosed in the news media.   It really comes as no surprise anyway.  If you think you have an expectation of privacy in anything you do on the Internet or on you cell phone, you are living in a dream world.   The Internet is like your trash you put outside for collection.  The police can search your trash without a warrant if its outside your house.  California v. Greenwood, 486 U.S. 35 (1988).   And the Internet is a big pile of trash, including this blog.

Ridiculously Easy and Naive Solutions to all the World's Problems, Ch. 1

In no particular order, I offer the following:

1.  UFO/Alien attack.   Nothing would unite the denizens of this planet faster or cause instant forgetfulness of all nationalistic/religious hostilities faster than a good old alien invasion.  Have you ever seen the movie "Independence Day"? That's right, Jews and Arabs fighting side by side to repel the aliens.  The corollary of that of course is that nothing unites various Muslim factions normally at war with one another faster than an invasion by an outsider.  Moral of the story:  let the USA not be outsider.  Remember the good old days when Iran and Iraq fought a war and we supplied arms to both sides of the conflict? That's what I'm talking about.

2.   Population control.  If everyone had one kid, in a couple of generations we would solve a great deal of our environmental and unemployment problems.  Think of it as an incremental plague like the Black Death.  For all of its horrors, the Black Death sure cleared way for a lot of space and relived the overpopulation problems in a lot of the larger cities of Europe at the time--making way for the surviving civic leaders to redesign the urban landscape.   Population control also offers these additional benefits without the uncomfortable side effects of widespread death by terrible means.  If we don't do something like that anyway, nature may find a way of reducing the population expansion in countries in Asia, South America or Mexico via some new fangled avian flu.  Population control seems by far the less drastic option. 

3.  ESRDTC (Everyone should really dislike the Chinese).  The Jews, Christians and Muslims  have been at each others throats for long enough. The time will come when people of the "Book" (e.g. its the same Bible:-)) will realize that they have more in common with each other than the godless pseudo-Communists who are the Chinese.  Of course the Chinese have good reasons for doing what they are doing now:  making the world safe for the giant anthill that their version of a future human civilization would entail:   a few queen ants who are multi-trillionaires while the rest work in slave shops.  Who knows whether the anthill presents a better vision than deluded people that base everything on a book and then fight endlessly over it?  The shadow knows.

4.  Let Catholic Priests Marry.   Really folks.   Even Jesus was probably screwing Mary Magdalene.   So get off this celibacy thing.  How much pedophilia is enough?

5.   Legalize Marijuana.   That's right.   And tax the hell out of it. Our country is in freaking debt up to its eyeballs.  Pot causes much less problems than alcohol.   Tax the shit out of both of them.  And quit spending so much freaking money on enforcing laws that even the majority of former presidents in the last twenty years violated in their salad days.  Listen to the Planet Money podcast on this issue if you don't believe me.