The Wide Open Prairie

 In my dream AEH was retiring.  In real life, my perception is that he is the hardest working attorney who has devoted his life to his job.  As opposed to me, for example.  Dream time AEH was somewhat upset with me.  I was leaving to go back home or somewhere and I was not driving.  I'm not sure how I was getting home, walking, or otherwise.  It was going to take a long time and it was getting dark.  I was in some urban setting initially, and there was an African American man near where I was wearing glasses and Adrian's admonition that I should be driving home aroused my fear of the African American man.   Something like the path I was on was not safe.  Then I was outdoors riding a skateboard on wide open spaces.  I realized that it was going to take a long time to get to my destination and that I was taking the long difficult way and perhaps I should change my course in the future.  This has been a recurring dream with me lately, how I am riding a bike or walking in wide open spaces, not driving a car.  

Though in the dream I was critical of myself for not driving, as I am typing this, I am grateful for not taking the well trodden path of AEH and others.  I have been taking to long way home.  Of course, AEH has a home.  I don't.  Not literally, anyway.  More on that later.   Perhaps I have something, some path more open and aligned to the infinite nature of what this existence is.  More expansive, but more empty at times.  And it this 3 weeks post COVID existence, the withdrawal from life has brought forth an emptiness of new possibilities.

Knife Throwers

 I was interacting with this person or group of people who appeared to be wielding some sort of power.  They also threw knives.  Then I understood that one of them was actually somebody they killed with a knife, and then one of them reanimated his body.  I didn't find that out until it was some time into the dream.  It seems that this ability to keep killing people and then reanimating them made them sort of immortal.  In any event, in the dream, I was afraid of them and called them out.  They reappeared and different points in my dream, always throwing knives at me.  None of them were big knives, but I remember putting up barriers between me and knives so that the knives would not hit me. Most of them were like razors.   There was also something about a dog.

If I go into this dream with the perspective that each one of the characters in the dream are trying to tell me something, that I am either resisting or listening to, I feel that the knife throwers are suggesting that part of me needs to die (literally to be cut away), for something else to be born.  I may be resisting what is going to take over, and think that it is evil.  But it nevertheless may be the eternal power or energy that is always in me always taking new shape.   And I keep resisting it.  But little by little the little knives keep coming at me throughout my day.  

Just got a covid test, by the way.  I feel imbalanced through this entire week.  Like I have been avoiding something.   And refusing to go into the loneliness of the farmhouse at night.   But it beckons my friend.  And speaking of healing dialogues, i need to have one with myself...lol