My Daughter has a Clown Face and I Wasn't Happy About it.

 My daughter MC was in some sort of detention.  Not clear where she was but I remember the sense of climbing out of something onto a large tree on a hill overlooking the panorama below.  I think I may have been in the car below coming to see her.   Of course, in this dream, things were a tad conjoined as I was also to some degree my daughter MC climbing the tree looking down at me driving below.  I don't actually remember driving below, just the idea that "the father" was coming below.

But I never arrived you see.  For then MC was back in what might have been detention and the nurse was the Latvian IrIv.  I remember MC looking at a card that was from her sister and her mother and myself signed with love, but at that point I was only MC and had no recollection of being "the father."  The card said something like "We Love You."  

Then later, while I was in another dream, I was telling the story of this dream.  This time I was me not MC.  I was "the father" or the waking "me."  I remember as I told the story, I was crying.  At some point I saw MC and she had a clown face.  It was eerie and to some extent sort of masculine.  This was bothering me and I think what was causing the crying.  It was interesting that in this other dream, I remember forgetting in my first dream (where I was more aligned as MC) that MC had a clown face.  The realization in my dream that I forgot that she had a masculine clown face in my first dream exacerbated my  distress to the point that I was just crying and could not tell the story of the first dream in the second dream.  I'm not sure how this all ended, but at some point, MC said that she "was out" very emphatically.  I wonder if that had to do with coming out of the closet?  Not sure.

  

Cat Scratch Fever

 I awoke in the middle of the night with cat scratch fever.  So I let my intuition guide me LMAO and I drove home.

I was Yin breathing.  Mazatech style.  Dr. Ray says open to the void, and I went into the darkness in my tanden.  And I opened up to everything.  Everything was the void, and I was breathing into it, like breathing into a vast aquarium that was reality.  And the reality, the aquarium was my breath.  I remembered thinking that this is what Elihu said when he talked about the practice of breathing into everything, or going big.

At some point the scene changed and I was experiencing my heart.  And it was locked.  And it was related to a concession stand and Kelly Walsh high school, at a basketball game in the early 1970s, where the band was playing "Shaft" or "Popcorn" or something like that and one of the high school kids in the band had an enormously swelled encephalitic head.   That was not a dream, at least I don't think so, but then I remembered a dream which was like 33 wine bar, and a restaurant in crowded square that I had never been to.  And the thought that this maze was no different than reality.  And that I had the choice to bring love and joy in, which I did.  And that joy was my intention going into this.  And the thoughts of Amy White suggesting that I dance with the channeled entity with joy.

And then came the little tune, the little nursery rhyme that comes in at the scary part of the journey.  And I immediately created space for it and wanted to hear it speak.  I told it over and over that I loved it.  And I realized that the joy that I could bring to this adventure was always always bigger than the fear.  Which is always true by the way.  Don't forget that douchebag.  

Then I remembered a very old dream I had.  So old that I had remembered it at various parts of my life.  Something about a house, which strange creatures and eating jello that makes you invisible.  

Then there was an experience of the immensity of it all, or sort of, but how we can only experience little fragments or packets of it.  Like little pieces of the divine sephirot.  But what do I know about that shit.  Then came Dr. Rays voice again, but of course it was going on the whole time, which is how I roll with these journeys these days and he was talking about the experience of our heart knows the past, present in future of all of our relationships.  So to know the heart, is to know what we are or what we will become.  And I thought that was kinda nice and wanted to remember it.  For that seemed to me is the highest bit of intuition.  And come to think of it, was kinda like that pre-cognitive stuff I was listening to last night on my drive.