The Mime that Ate Her Own Tail.

I was channeling all sorts of positive energy. And having fun.  I was with a group of people and in a state of joy I started talking and teasing the statue of a woman who was striking an unhappy pose.  She had brown hair.

To my surprise, she became animated.  She was the most incredible mime I had ever seen.  We had more fun when she became animated.  In my animated state, I wanted to read her a book of statutes (as if that would be more fun?).  I looked around on a book shelf and saw a huge collection of statutes.  I went through them and they were all written in bright colors.  I was having fun just saying the word "statute" to her.

Then we were in some other area where there were other shapeshifters.  Maybe she was not a mime but a shapeshifter?  One of the shapeshifters was a dog.  But it also turned into a scary snake, like the most scary and venomous I had ever seen.  I told the curator that I was afraid of the the different manifestations of snakes the shapeshifting dog turned into.  I asked the curator if the snake was poisonous.  She said that the snake was "extremely" poisonous, but would never bite unless it was provoked.  This revelation made me very uncomfortable, wondering how it could be provoked.

Then I was getting married to the mime.  She had some sort of guest there that was a bald man.  They were very close.  Then William Shatner was there and it almost seemed like it was he not me getting married to the mime.  He was worried.  When I asked him what was troubling him, he told me that the mime and the bald man, even though they are acting very close now, each have the ability and propensity to destroy each other, like a snake eating its own tail.

I'm not sure what happened after that. 

Maiden, Iowa

So I was driving around in a car with my parents in St. Louis.  We were driving through a maze of high red/orange walls and I remember telling them that we are at the Cortex Commons.   Of course, we were not, at least in the waking world, but in this world, I was quite convinced of our location because I had been there before.

Then we were on a plane.  We were engaged in a very good discussion.  My parents were very close and loving with each other just like someone pointed out to me recently.  My father was expressing some affinity for Doris Day.  I'm am not sure if he gives a shit about Doris Day in the waking world.  The conversation must have been so engaging that we forgot to get out of the plane and it was taking off again and we were going to go with it.  It was a large plane, at least a Boeing 737.  I was not really that alarmed, I was more concerned about how we were going to get back and what the return connections would be.  I asked the dude in the seat in front of me where we were going and he told me Maiden, Iowa.  I had never heard of that but thought it must be some airline hub that doesn't exist in a city like the Mid America Airport or something.  Then it came out that I was from Illinois and he kept trying to talk to me about cannabis in a very animated sort of way.

In the waking world, there is no town called Maiden, Iowa.  But there is a beer:  https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/31011/215496/

Perhaps more to the point, two days before this dream, I watched a trailer about a movie named Maiden:   https://www.iowapublicradio.org/post/all-female-crew-maiden-sailed-around-world-and-history#stream/0

Anyway, the plane took off not at an airport but on an interstate and was dodging cars to take off.  Also power lines.  This is a recurring dream of mine.  Very recurring.  So recurring that I thought, wait, I might be in a dream.  But I wasn't in a dream.  It was too real.  The plane dodged the power lines and went straight up.

And then landed almost immediate in Maiden, Iowa, which was a suburb in Iowa City.  I remember thinking that I needed to tell Madison I was there.
Then we were on some plaza and people were digging for jewels and watches with some sort of detectors.  I didn't have any.  I looked underground and saw huge crystal formations. 

Then I was at some sort of prison.  I'm not sure if it was actually a prison but it felt like one.  I was with a group of men.  One of the men was different from the others.  It was either me or someone else who pointed out to the others that the man had a nice watch (maybe connected to the watches everyone was looking for in Iowa City).  The fact that the man had a nice watch was somehow bad or different, and then it was pointed out that the man had the nice watch because he was married to a gay man who was rich.  That fact made him not fit into the group with the rest of us.  There was a sense that the man was not gay yet was married.

There was probably more, but that is all I have right now. 

The Mummy

First many thanks to Carlos Tanner.   What follows below began with our podcast conversation.  He was gracious enough after we recorded the podcast to answer I had about my own challenging ayahuasca experiences.  He seemed to understand that when I apparently became transported to "another ceremony" that he said it was called being "crossed" and attributed it to the Columbian Shaman at Rhythmia adding something to the admixture like datura beyond the traditional two ayahuasca plants.  This wouldn't be surprising, because I do remember him adding a clear liquid to my cup after speaking with me and my intentions.  For what its worth, whatever he added was the only time I connected to the non-dual reality of oneness, but that is another story.

Going forward he suggested that I become a like a mummy in my next encounter with the medicine.  Which makes sense.  When fear is triggered the normal reaction is flight.  To stand still is to face the fear and he told me that when you do, it gives you a sense of power.  He also said it make take hours for this to happen and it is of course very challenging.  This made a great deal of sense because most of my challenging experiences with ayahuasca have been exacerbated when I was up and moving in a ceremony when I was supposed to stay on my mat.  He told me that it is best if you can not to move anything, don't stand up, don't sit up to get more comfortable, go into the discomfort.  Which is of course what you do in zen practice, you are discouraged from moving on the zabuton while you are sitting zazen.

So I went to bed and fell asleep, and then woke up at my fairly normal time at the farmhouse around 3 am.  I took some CBD oil, did some self reiki and then tried to go back to sleep.  However, my mind was just in a state where nothing made sense, nothing worked, and it just felt broken.   I couldn't go back to sleep and worried that I would stay up and continue my difficulty sleeping which I have been having sense I returned from Arizona.  But then I remembered what Carlos at said about the mummy, so I resolved not to move.  What I was feeling was very much like a bad trip.   It was very painful, but I kept remembering his words that it willl give you power, and I remembered my earlier belief that going into the fear is the gateway, so I kept with it.   At some point, I remember being able to release the thoughts that were arising in my mind.  It was as if my mind was letting go of the many painful thoughts that were arising and focusing on a point of nothingness at the ground.  The ground was nothing but the sensations of feeling without thoughts attached.

I didn't feel empowered, but at some point I must have fell asleep.  I had what must have been a dream where a man who was vaguely like my father was reading tarot right before me while I was laying down.  Then the man who was my father was on top of me and squeezing me that he was wrestling with me, the pressure intensified such like if felt like my entire body was being squeezed painfully.  Then abruptly the man quickly left and I heard a noise like something falling off the bed and I quickly woke up.  I was disoriented and fear that someone was in the room with me and was actually squeezing me but I knew they were gone now.  I felt I relieved, like some spirit had left my body.  I remembered what Tanya told me after my first reiki session that I should drink water after releasing energy so I did that.

 I looked at clock at it was 4:50 so I knew that I had plenty of time to sleep and knew that I would.  I remember letting the universe tell me what to do, so I started focusing on a point and started dreaming again.  I was at some sort of celebration I think to start.  It was crowded.  People were laying down on big carts or elevated flat surfaces.  I remember seeing people who I didn't really know but I associated with Notre Dame talk to me.  One woman in particular started talking to me.  She seemed familiar, like she was from Badin Hall, and I think we even joked that Elaine told me that "Get back Loretta" had moved or something.  She was interested in me and we layed down together on the flat surface or cart with the other people.  She had brunette hair.  She was interested in me which I felt good because while I was actually at Notre Dame, someone like her would not have taken an interest.  It was not sexual, but it made me feel very good to be wanted. There was also another woman and at some point I switched who I was laying with and it seemed like the woman had some understanding.  The other woman I think was blonde and I associated her with high school, but I could be wrong.

Then the scene changed and I was in South Africa at a power plant, maybe a nuclear power plant.  There were construction workers and engineers there.  Rough and tumble men who journeyed here to make money. One of the fat ones who seemed to be in charge was involved in crude humor.  I remember him positioning himself next to another man such that in silhouette the shadows looked like he was receiving fellatio from the man.  Then we were at the back of the power plant and there was some sort of celebration or ritual going on and people were dancing or moving. I remember seeing a black man leading the procession, but when I saw him close up he was fat and almost feminine.  I may remember more later.