The Night After Ceremony #7 and the Night After the Night After Ceremony #7

One practice I learned at the ceremony from one of the participants was to move a ball of awareness/energy (and awareness and energy may be the same--think about it...lol) from different body parts which created (for him) an undulating rippling effect.   In the process, his movements resembled a mime/break dancer during the dance portion of the ceremony.

I tried this when I returned back home and was up in the middle of the night during one of my now common "late night dances" to release energy.  While I certainly don't have the break dance moves yet, I was able to let the energy focus on my heart chakra for a while and then I felt myself channeling all sorts of positive stuff from around me.  My ever growing "Kanko's trance" Spotify playlist was  playing Shimshai & Susana's "Sirenita Bobinzana" which seemed so beautiful at the time that I was just enjoying it and adding many of their other songs to the playlist.  I felt an outpouring of love and imagined how this feeling if nurtured in a supportive community would certainly transform my life into something beautiful.  If this were a cult, I certainly wanted to join and understood/felt the impulse to belong.

I laid down after this.  I wasn't exactly tired, but I wanted to meditate on all the energy that was flowing through me.  I looked upward with eyes closed and eventually entered the dream state where initially I was with one of the self professed Shaman women that I had scheduled to do a podcast with earlier in the week. She looked surprisingly like an old dog--certainly not what I remembered about her.  I wondered if my dream vision of her was more accurate.

Then I entered lucid dream space and could feel my presence moving all about the room.   I remember hearing Sandstar's voice urging me to go deeper into the trance/meditation and to join a group existing in some sort of higher dimension/reality.  So deeper I went.  With my new power, I wanted to visit the moon and I shot up through the sky and was rapidly transported.  I remember being on the white surface of the moon and felt the universe was open to me.  I next wanted to go to Mars which was a longer journey.  As I entered an asteroid belt, I felt the presence of some dark energy and imagined hearing running water from the toilet in the bathroom next to me.  I was immediately whisked back to my body and away from my celestial journey.

However, after I realized that the toilet water was not running, I wanted to return to my lucid dream.  So I again began to meditate.  This time, I did not want to travel in space, but rather time.  I wanted to explore the alleged traumatic event of my childhood which was revealed during Ceremony #7.  Though I did enter lucid dream space again, I was not able to go back in time appreciably.  There was only darkness.  Eventually, I returned back to dream space.  In this dream, I was taking part in a play.  My participation was accidental, as if I had been pulled in off the street to fill in on some part.  Initially, I was just following a group of people who were telling me what I should say and how I should act.  Then I had a script to follow, but the script was impossible to read.

In one of the scenes the main character, a beautiful woman was supposed to kiss me.  Which she did.  I was surprised at the earnestness of her kiss--like she wasn't acting and really loved me.  But it was more than love.  It was warm and hot and it was everything.  I was immediately transported.  In a later scene she kissed me again and I was just following her around like an obedient puppy.  At the back of my mind, I wondered if she was just acting, and if so, what that would mean for me, because I certainly was not acting.

The Night After the Night After Ceremony #7

Once again, I entered lucid dreaming space.  I was in a room that was in retrospect something like my grandparents' front room in Helper, Utah.  But with differences.  To begin with, the workers left open the roof in the back of the house and I climbed up to a universe filled with stars.  I felt as if a portal had been opened to infinity.  I stepped through and had the feeling that if the portal closed behind me I would exist in infinity, alone, for eternity.  This thought scared me initially but must not have ultimately bothered me because I was soon surfing around the stars using a Virabhadrasana 2 pose.

Then I was back in the room screaming.   I don't remember why I was screaming.  I remember thinking that the Louver was next door.  But then I remembered I was alone in the apartment.  I continued in dream space to ascertain what had frightened me, but then I had other dreams.