My experience with plant medicine in Costa Rica was essentially a passive engagement with the medicine. We were lying down on mats, letting the medicine flow through us. It was a practice of submission. And I remember that when Michael DiMarco told me he was controlling his experience with the medicine, I could not comprehend how he was accomplishing that feat. Now, thanks to shaman Alphani Ryzon at the New Haven Church, I have some inkling of a more active engagement with the medicine.
The ceremony at New Haven began the same as in Costa Rica. It was almost the same or similar Sante Daime medicine. Indeed, it had almost the same taste as in Costa Rica. But from there, the experience was markedly different. Almost immediately after drinking, Alphani, lead the group in a fairly active yoga practice. Yoga was followed by breath-work, followed by chanting, followed by a sound bath. All of these practices seemed to encourage the movement of the energy growing within me. It was not a passive experience. Indeed, when I began to feel nauseous MeTa (who was assisting Alphani) told me the sensation of nausea was energy pooling in the solar plexus chakra and she took active steps (rapid breathing) to encourage the flow of energy in her body. Finally, we all participated in a free-flowing dance which marked the transition between drinking the first cup of Sante Daime medicine and drinking the second cup of a foul tasting medicine from Peru. All of these energy practices opened the door to the growing sensation that I was acting as a channel for the energy of the plant medicine.
After the second cup of the Peruvian brew was consumed, the rubber really hit the road. Alphani encouraged everyone to meditate sitting still for 30 minutes. This was nothing new. In a zen sesshin, we also sit immobile in 30 minute blocks experiencing reality. I was determined not to move and to experience the medicine though my meditation practice. However, the energy of plant medicine makes the meditation experience much more fluid. The challenge was to remain somewhat aware of my surroundings, following the breath when the mind was moving in an out of states of awareness and hypnagogic dream-like states.
After the 30 minutes passed Alphani gave what was tantamount to a sermon suggesting that the sacrament of plant medicine allowed us to create a space within ourselves such that the egoic "story" of reality that we have created for ourselves becomes porous and the universal divine love is allowed to enter us. I'm paraphrasing here, but Alphani described creating a space within us to experience the universe.
Shortly thereafter, I saw evidence of this love in action. When one of the participants was having difficulty (and for once it wasn't me...lol), I witnessed Alphani embrace the man and engage in in a very caring conversation. I knew he would be ok. Indeed, I knew I would be ok. Should the medicine cause me to be disassociated with my consciousness, I knew Alphani (and MeTa) for that matter would take care of me. Unlike my experience in Costa Rica, no one here would put me in a headlock, and I knew I would not have to go running though the Ozark forest to escape from anyone.
Much later when we were gathered around the bonfire outside I witnessed an even more active engagement with the medicine: Alphani was practicing extended headstand and plow poses. But by then all was good. I saw the trees around me dancing and waving to me to join them. And the full moon shown through the clouds like a portal to another dimension.
I sense there will be more to the story. When I was driving to this Church near Ava, Missouri, I had the same sensation of the confusion and fear I experienced in Costa Rica. The overwhelming sense that if I go through with this nothing will be the same afterward. But Mother Aya was gentle with me this time and did not give me more than I could handle. And maybe nothing will be the same, albeit in small increments. Maybe a bit more of the universe is coming in despite how steadfastly I hold onto the story that I am separate from the rest of creation.
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