Preparing For The Reverse Eclipse in Costa Rica

Maybe I have always been a contrarian.  Maybe it all started when my father tried to force me to drink milk when I was five and I refused.   Maybe there was more at stake than just the milk.   In part, and indeed, if I can be a little obtuse here, maybe that is one of the things (and of course you know the others) that I seek to explore in my so called "reverse eclipse" that is going to take place next week if all goes well.

Meanwhile, back at the farm, everyone is going to observe the rare occasion when the sun, the source of illumination, is occluded.  I suppose in some ways I intend to do the opposite. To look directly into the sun.  At least I think I do, as much as I can stand anyway, and maybe just a wee bit more.  I want to let more sunlight in than maybe has been allowed in the past.

I have swallowed the Kool-Aid for now.  And I hear the plants calling me.  And I think all is going to be well.  I really think so.  And I'm going to do the whole she-bang.  I'm going to walk the labyrinth. I've already picked up the five stones at the Nipper Wildlife Reserve locally.  I've named them.  The plan is to set down the stones at the beginning to create the space.  Pick up the bracelet and put the energy into the stones when I leave.   Like I said, I'm going to swallow the Kool-Aide.  No sex, no alcohol, no caffeine. I'm already starting to feel stripped down and ready to face the music.  

And if it does not go well, and I vomit and see my own death over and over and wonder what the fuck I have done, I will try and remember this little mantra.  You can sing it along with me if you like:

"Don't turn away from me now.  But go in deep.   To that place that hurts and the more that it hurts you will not turn away and the more that you are frightened and the more you want to run away, you will stand your ground and you will redouble your efforts to go back in.  And let it take you."

"You will turn the light inward.  Relax and feel it.  And when you can't relax, you will surrender to it, you will let it overwhelm you and when you can't relax or surrender to it, you will just give up and let it run its course.  For you are not in control.  That is the entire point of this entire exercise.  Be with this sensation.  Sit on the cushion with it.   Experience it.  Do not miss it.  Find out what it means to teach you."

"You are not in control.  What is going to happen is going to happen.  When you find yourself in times of trouble, Mother Mary will come to you, speaking words of wisdom to let it be."

"And when you are in its grip, no words will be comforting or make sense.  You might as well be spitting into the wind.  And then perhaps you will remember this buttercup:  You have lived your life mediated in part by fear and avoidance.   You are now encountering the world.  Let this be your source of strength.  Let this guide you when the chunks flow and the shit runs down you leg."

(This was an excerpt from the Poem, "Don't turn away from me now, but you might want to step to side a bit to avoid the projectile vomiting," copyright 2017, words and music by Sri Pseudopumkin save the obvious tip of the hat to Sir Paul)