Informed consent for Suzie Doodlevecter
You are being asked
to take part in a Research Study. Research studies include only people who
choose to take part. This document is called an informed consent form. Please
read this information carefully and take your time making your decision. Ask
the researcher or study staff to discuss this consent form with you, please ask
him/her to explain any words or information you do not clearly understand. We
encourage you to talk with your family and friends before you decide to take
part in this research study. The nature
of the study, risks, inconveniences, discomforts, and other important
information about the study are listed below.
Purpose: The purpose of this study is to study the short term effect of the involuntary consumption of Premium French wine in a luxurious environment.
Benefits: The wine is free. If you have to ask further, we suggest you focus your attention on other pursuits.
Risks and Discomfort: There are considerable psychological, social, legal and other associated risks. However, 100% of the previous study participants have volunteered enthusiastically to participate again in this cohort. The effects and sensations you will experience in the study are immediate and intensify with each sip. Subjects report being completely unprepared and overwhelmed for the tidal wave of emotion that will permeate every fiber of your being . You will want it to stop. In fact, you will yell for it to stop. But in the next breath you will want it to continue again and again and again. Beyond thought, beyond reason, your body will become enmeshed in the flood of sensations until a point is reached that you will not think it possible for the experience to continue. But the experience will continue, over and over in increasing intensity until all you can do is cry out with unrequited joy and ecstasy.
Benefits: Dubious.
Alternative Procedures: We understand though our affiliates in Rioja and Mendoza that similar protocols are offered internationally.
Required Signatures--Each research subject or surrogate decision maker must sign and informed consent form prior to entering the research protocol.
Subject:________________(All signatures must be notarized)
Witness:________________(3 Witnesses are required for each study participant)
Investigator/Initiator/Sommelier: ______________________________(Sri Pseudopumpkin, Ph. D)
Purpose: The purpose of this study is to study the short term effect of the involuntary consumption of Premium French wine in a luxurious environment.
Benefits: The wine is free. If you have to ask further, we suggest you focus your attention on other pursuits.
Risks and Discomfort: There are considerable psychological, social, legal and other associated risks. However, 100% of the previous study participants have volunteered enthusiastically to participate again in this cohort. The effects and sensations you will experience in the study are immediate and intensify with each sip. Subjects report being completely unprepared and overwhelmed for the tidal wave of emotion that will permeate every fiber of your being . You will want it to stop. In fact, you will yell for it to stop. But in the next breath you will want it to continue again and again and again. Beyond thought, beyond reason, your body will become enmeshed in the flood of sensations until a point is reached that you will not think it possible for the experience to continue. But the experience will continue, over and over in increasing intensity until all you can do is cry out with unrequited joy and ecstasy.
Benefits: Dubious.
Alternative Procedures: We understand though our affiliates in Rioja and Mendoza that similar protocols are offered internationally.
Required Signatures--Each research subject or surrogate decision maker must sign and informed consent form prior to entering the research protocol.
Subject:________________(All signatures must be notarized)
Witness:________________(3 Witnesses are required for each study participant)
Investigator/Initiator/Sommelier: ______________________________(Sri Pseudopumpkin, Ph. D)
Disclaimer: this is about wine, it was written for people who are drinking wine by someone who is drinking wine when he or she wrote it. Those who are not drinking wine while reading this, be forewarned. In fact, you may be forlorn without wine even while reading this.
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