"Yea I grew up around here, right down the street until my parents kicked me outta the house and I was homeless. I was a troublemaker back then, still am."
"Springfield? I've been to Springfield once. I was going across that old bridge in Springfield on the lake and it was icy out. I was 18 and driving a stolen car and going like 90 when we hit that ice. Wasn't any ice 'xcept on that bridge. Next thing I remember was whoosh and my friend was out of the car and I was sliding on my ass on that ice down the road. Then a State Trooper came I and had to tell them that the car was stolen so my friend could go to the hospital. My friend's jaw was sliced open and all his top teeth were dangling like this. (shows). So they locked me up at the Sangamon jail and took my friend to the hospital. My friend came by later and was pissed at me for squealing about the stolen car and all and I told him that I didn't have a choice because he needed to go to the hospital."
"St. Clair County? yea, I've been in a ton of trouble over there too. Mearl Justice, I think he's still the Sheriff over there. I remember when I first was busted over there and they sent me to Menard. They got me for burglary. First I hit a bowling alley and broke into all those pinball machines and then I went to the clothing store and got me some shirts. So when they caught me I was carrying around these big bags of change and two shirts. Then Justice tells the States Attorney I want this boy locked up. And because I had gotten into trouble over here at Boonville, they sent me to Menard. I asked him if I'd be able to keep my hair which was long and blond at the time. This was 1972 or 1973 and I had hair like a hippie. They didn't think that was too funny."
"Yea, it was hot there. That Prison didn't have any air conditioning and it was like 120 in the summer. We took off all of our clothes but our underwear. But hell, I was like 19 and all so it didn't really matter because when you are that age you feel indestructible. I remember getting kicked out of the Catholic services at Menard because the priest thought I was using the Mass as a social hour. Can you imagine that? Me, a chatterbox? (laughs). So I ended up going to the Protestant service. They didn't care if I was a talker. Those Catholic priests are a bunch of pedophiles anyway. We knew the story back when I went to Catholic schools around here. You didn't have to tell me about all that priest abuse crap. We knew it all anyway. Bunch of sick phonies. Not like the Mexicans. Now they are a moral people. Good folks. Some of them moved around here. I liked them Mexican women. But they always wanted to take you home to their family. Hell, their family didn't care what color skin you had just as long as you were Catholic. I mean I was an Irish Catholic and all, but even if I were Baptist, I would have been a Catholic just to get between those tawny thighs. Know what I mean? (laughs)."
"Well then I was on probation with some hippie parole officer in Rockford. He was cool and all and wanted to find the good in all people. Jeesh, good luck on that amigo. So then I skipped parole. I called him from Arizona and told him I was gone and he said that he would cover for me for awhile. He told me to stay out of trouble, get a job and lay low for awhile. He told me things would be ok if I did that. Hell, I was scared. I mean when you are 19 you think the FBI is going to come after you. (pauses, looks reflectively). Them hippies ain't so bad. Got a ride from one of them outside of Kansas City. All the way to California. I asked him where I should go and he dropped me off at Venice Beach. Man, that was the best thing anyone ever done for me. From there I learned a trade in the Aerospace industry as a machinist. Ain't been in much trouble since then except that fat fuck cop. Man all I did was slap him. Cops have such thin skin these days. That fairy filed assault charges against me."
"Venice Beach? Man, you should definitely go there. Best place on earth. Miles and miles of beach and women. Back in the 1970s that place was the best. First night I got there I slept on top of one of those city buses and the driver come up to me in the morning and I sure surprised him."
"But I got a pretty good gig now. Hauling produce. I run from California to the Bronx. Stop in St. Louis. My girlfriend here works at Nadines up the street. You should come to the Bronx with me. Crazy fucking place. (now distracted) Where did that hippie chick go with the one-hitter? That woman was all over her. Couldn't even open up her eyes. I mean, whatever man. I bet they left to go back to the apartment. (laughs). I seen everything--even that (winks)."
"Just got some bad news today. My first wife is dying. Breast cancer. She kept telling me how she was enjoying each precious moment of her life now. No shit. I been doing that all my life."
No comments:
Post a Comment