Stuck in the Middle With You and You and You

 We live in so many interwoven dreams, and at night we can access them, our ego releasing its grip, showing us that we live in many different worlds, many different beings, and many different stories and modes of existence don't make any sense to this dream when we return.

And all of those beings are us, in ways that we cannot understand, and I cannot accept, or at least choose not too. But like it or not, that is reality.  And in some way that I cannot accept yet, the truth of it is so much better than what I am comfortable with.  For I live in this meat sack that thinks, or at least think that  I think, that I am separate from everything.  That I was born and that I will die.  What happens after death is the great unknown.

This way of thinking is my familiar life, my familiar world, my familiar family.  And I feel that when I descend it to what I really am, what this is really all about, I feel that my familiar world, familiar life and familiar family are being taken away from me, and I retreat, and I want to stay here and reject what I really am, stuck in the middle with you.

But when I come back from the dream, or the 5-HT2A receptor agonists stop being agonists, I want to return to the awareness of what I am.  This is another manifestation of the indecision that repeats in my medicine adventures or waking space.  Interesting.

As if in a dream, my one and only V

 I was with my old friend from Justice Chip's chambers, or was it the JR den?  Anyway, she was in Jeff Co, and I lost touch.  Last I heard was in D.C. doing Republican things and being a social butterfly.  Woa, turns out MM is now Chief of Staff for the House of Representatives or something.  How cool.

Anyway, I was doing Yin breathing when she appeared.  I was going into the trance even in the dream.  (that's where all the cool stuff really happens, right? lol).  Anyway, we were talking, and I noticed there were two of her.  I was between them.  There was kind of a field that made me a little uncomfortable.  One of the MM's told me that Yin breathing was not my path.  Instead, my medicine path should have something to do with "V".  I don't know what she was talking about, then or now.  Maybe something will open up.  

I felt that because there were two MM's, that she was suffering.  I think there were also two of me.  We might have talked about the fact that everyone is in this duality.  I felt that I was supposed to heal her by bringing her back together, so I took my hands in Gassho, opened them, and started to close them thereby bringing her two halves back together.  This is all part of that funky energy work I'm doing now.  And I must say that after last Saturday, my two halves are not as vibrating on different frequencies, so to speak.  As I kept up the energy work, bringing her back together, I was getting a little dizzy.  But I felt that I had entered MM's actual dream in real time by doing this, and that I was doing good work, so I continued.  I kept pulling her back together, inside her dream, until I woke up.  I wonder if she did as well, D.C. time being and hour later.....