The Story of the Ghost

I was in an apartment.  I want to say that I owned it, but in any event it felt like home.  Kinda like now, I guess.
Anyway, there was a boy there.  I think his mother left him at the apartment.  I seem to remember there were alot of people there, like there had been a party.  My friend Bill was also there.
I remember taking care of the kid.  Until Bill told me the kid was not real.
I'm not sure how it went.  The boy either dissolved, or simply vanished.  Much later I wondered if he was a ghost.
There was also a cat involved.  I seem to dream about cats lately.  Maybe I'm just remembering Matt the cat.  Or maybe its a call for a familiar.  Still the logistics would be a little difficult at the farmhouse.  Maybe if he/she were feral it might work out? Maybe I should be feral?
Anyway, like the kid the cat had been at the house.  And like the kid, the cat seemed to vanish.  I had a vision of much earlier, the boy was outside and put the head of the cat in a plastic bag thereby asphyxiating it.  So the cat if it was there, was also a ghost, long since killed by the boy, who probably also was a ghost.
That is the story of the ghost.

The Final Frontier

So I'm sitting at my desk engaged in the busy work that will not be remembered a year from now, if that.  A whole life's work washed away by the tide.  And I get it.  We are all just doing our part to keep the human enterprise going.  Part of the collective.

And when it ends all we have is assimilated back into the cosmic oneness.  

Still I will miss this body, these daughters, this life which I love.

But I know at some level, this is all ego.  For its not really my life.  And what I think I have is not really what I think it is.  And that perhaps when I return to what I always have been that it will be so incredible that I will not be able to stand it before I do stand it.  Eternal bliss.   There is no choice.  That is our destiny.

But its still goddamn scary.  And I cling tenaciously to this life.  May there be a path to appreciate this life more completely with the revelation of how it will end.