From Another Dimension, Ch. 4

Scene I:

December 16, 1916, 10:16 P.M.

Moika Palace, St. Petersburg, Russia

Father Grigori Rasputin follows Prince Felix Yusupov into the wine cellar of the palace.  The two consume wine and cake, though the Prince drinks from a different wine bottle.   Moments later, Rasputin asks to excuse himself, complaining of an upset stomach.  Rasputin begins to walk out of the cellar.   He quickly collapses and his body spasms with seizures.

The Prince waits several minutes and then examines Rasputin.   Rasputin is still breathing.  With a frown, the Prince hurries back up to the main foyer of the palace where he has a heated conversation with Grand Duke Dmitri Pavlovich.   Duke Pavlovich then produces a shiny silver object which he provides to the Prince, who quickly stuffs it into his pocket.

The Prince returns to the wine cellar.   He checks Rasputin's neck for a pulse.   Suddenly, Rasputin's eyes open and his hands raise weakly intent on closing on Prince Yusupov's throat.  A struggle ensures.  Three shots are fired.

Two more men enter the wine cellar.  These individuals are later identified as officers of the British Secret Intelligence Service (SIS) stationed in St. Petersburg at the time.   One of the men, a Lieutenant Oswald Rayner fires a Webley .455 revolver at point blank range into Rasputin's forehead, killing him instantly.

The three men then bind Rasputin's body in a carpet and drop it into the Neva River.

Scene II:

March 17,1917, 9:47 P.M.

Cemetery at Tsarskoye Selo, St. Petersburg, Russia.

A group of men wearing factory uniforms uncover the grave of Rasputin.   Rasputin's body is conveyed to a nearby wooded area where the group prepares a pyre.

As the flames begin to engulf Rasputin, he suddenly sits up.

Overhead, the crowd bows as a golden light shines, and an inter-dimensional portal materializes in the otherwise clear night sky. Golden light shimmers though a jagged opening. Though the streaming light, a mass of prismatic tendrils materialize over the crowd eventually enveloping Rasputin. Surrounded in the sensual embrace of the tendrils, Rasputin looks up, his smile now serene.

The telling of the legend of rasputin, and the russian tea house, and the proclivity for those with big noses--enroute to nederland

Inadequate instructions for just about anything, Ch. 4

How to Spoon.

Overview:   Humans are pack animals.   They sleep better in groups.  That means you and you.

Step 1:  Differentiate between the Spoon"or" and the Spoon"ee."  Typically, the Spoonor is male and the Spoonee is female.   However, some reciprocality may be helpful.  Especially if the male is reptilian. This is because we all know that ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny in cold blooded species.

Step 2:  As Mark Mothersbaugh would say:  Assume the position.   There are two basic recommended positions:  the side straddle and the head pillow.  Here is the side straddle:

In the side straddle, both the spoonor and the spoonee sleep on their right sides.  The spoonor drapes his/her left arm over the spoonee's left side.

In the head pillow, the spoonee puts his/her head on the right shoulder of the spoonor treating it as a pillow.  Such as thus and thus:

 This bring us to the crucial issue:  what happens to the spoonor's right arm?  Blood supply to said appendage is crucial to ensure maximal temporal snuggling.   For if the circulation is curtailed, said appendage grows numb and the spoonor must alter his/her position early into the snuggling process.  This is counterproductive to maximum spooning effect.

Step 3:  Maintain proper circulation in the spoonor's right appendage.  The provisional recommendation in this regard is that the spoonor extend his/her right appendage under a pillow to prevent curtailment of circulation to the right appendage.   Snodgress et. al, in their 2001 study investigated the possibility of cutting  a circular hole into the bottom of the sleeping platform and extending the right appendage of the spoonor distally into said hole so that that said appendage extends to the floor.   If resources permit, cutting a circular hole in said manner appears to be the most advantageous position.

Step 4:  Maximize olfactory potential.  In both the side straddle and the head pillow, the olfactory sensors of the spoonor are in close proximity to the neck and hair of the spoonee.  As such, it is recommended that the spoonee maximize pleasurable smell to his/her hair to encourage nuzzling by the spoonor into the spoonee's neck cavity.  In this regard, it is suggested that a spoonee utilize a shampoo with a pleasing aroma.   Hair spray in such circumstances is discouraged.