The Sound of One Clapping Hand

 I have experienced this sound, or lack thereof, several times, but of course, its always coursing through me, whether conscious or unconscious, along with everything else or nothing, for eternity.

Several Time 1:  In the forest.  There is no past present or future.  Its beyond all that.  Even beyond sounds.  What is the sound of everything, everywhere all at once? 

Several Time 2:  When I'm in that circle again.  Of course, I'm always in the circle again,  Day/Night/Awake/Asleep, rinse and repeat.  When I'm on entheogens, its as if every activity, person, life event I've ever had only existed in this space, and this space was completely empty and leads right back to here inescapably.  Like everything we have ever done, thought or experienced is so much buzzing and the wings of a bee vibrating until they don't anymore.  The silence that terrifies me.

Let me Handle This

I had a long dream involving JpMcG.  All sorts of adventures.  Seemed like it lasted forever.  He also was with a woman who I have never yet met in this reality.  At some point,  I was with the woman.  And sort of casually, without thinking too much about it, I quip, "What's going on here, because we both know JpMcG is dead."   I'm not sure where those words came from, they kind of came out all before I had too much time to think about it. And of course, in this reality, the reality of me typing this right now, JpMcG is dead, and has been dead for over a decade now.

And then the woman looked at me and said, "I know, but let me handle this."  I'm not sure where JpMcG was at that moment, but I had the feeling that she would now go to him and reveal this to him.  Of course, maybe she was soothing me.  I don't know.  But it sure sounded like she didn't want me to tell him because she had something to take care of.  But I could be wrong.

And I was thinking that if you came from some other planet, and looked at what was going on with humans tabula rasa, with a blank slate, so to speak, it seems that humans, or at least humans with a so called "rational" indocrination induced from a mostly European ancestry, that the bright light and rigid dicotomy between sleep and waking life (one being "real" the one being a "dream") seems a little too rigid.  And I imagine a reality where what we think of as being "alive" and "awake" and "asleep" or "dead" might be a little too neat.  And the energy or awareness of each sort of bleed into each other without falling into neat categorical separations and distinctions.  

I was talking about all of this in the so called "Blackout Wednesday" with Bill and Wendy at the "Bird" Tavern.  And a woman walks by that could have been JpMcG's woman in the so called dream.  To which, I'm sure you are thinking, "I know, but let me handle this". :-).  😃

Not that I believe we have an Ego, but an Ego death meditation nevertheless. I will call it the "changey" thing meditation. Look at me go.

 So I was dreaming this weekend that I was meditating in the rain under the tarp in Wisconsin next to the rocky cleft which housed the gnomes.  I was thinking that getting away from it all was kind of good as it was opening up some sort of changey thing in me.  Which wasn't all bad because changey things are good actually, because they well changey things and keep us all fresh and vital like.

So then I'm back in the condo fortress and I'm in this dreamy state again and the changey thing comes and I realize it is literally eating me.  And my initially reaction is to be scared.  But then I realize that this is the changey thing and I should just let it eat me.  And I did.  And I realize the changey thing is like vast and unconscious and vaguely like my ancestors and especially my grandfather (fathers side).    And then I realize that this changey thing also occurred to me in Ayahuasca but I ran from it because it was overwhelming, but here in this dream state I could deal with it.  And then I realize that I've integrated it.  Look at me go.   Having a psychedelic adventure which takes me six years to integrate.  Look at me go. By the way, I'm only joking because in reality I think you can  take your integration and shove it up your ass life coach.  You can't integrate the changey thing, that's the whole point.  Its changey see.  That's why I call it the changey thing.

And then later on I'm all deep in it, and my whole point of existence is in my sacrum and I'm doing sacred geometry kinda drawing out those alchemical symbols in my mind that Richard Kretz was talking about.   And I only exist in that point.  And its great.  And I go in and out of sleep.  

Then I wake up and realize that all anxiety is just the changey thing. So I create this new mediation called the changey thing meditation.  And I befriend the changey thing.  And let it do its magic.  Look at me go.

Directing the Energy

 Perhaps it makes more sense to think of what we are as energy that can be experienced through the lens (or connection) of different things--as opposed to a body, or more specifically a mind in a body thinking.

Try this:   Bring the energy to the heart.  Try that experience.  Then bring you back up to the mind.  And experience yourself through your mind. Notice the difference.  When the energy goes back up to the physical location of what we consider the mind, everything kind of opens up in a different way than when the energy is in a different place.  When the energy goes to the mind there are different voices, more of them, than when the energy is in other places.  As I type this, the energy is in my throat.  So look at me go.

Of course, the energy can also leave the body.  Go to the forest and put your arms out, palms upward and experience the energy in the forest without "your body".  Oh my god, we don't really exist in the way we think we do.  Imagine that.  We can be all around looking in.  Or we can be all "in" looking out.  The variations, like sexual positions, are enormous.  Because we are really the energy.  And we are only "in here" when our energy goes back in the area called our brain.  

And if you really want to experience the difference, think through your ass.  Come on you can do it.  Especially at night.   You may be able to discovery what is meant by the root chakra.   And of course, then you can travel down to the center of the earth, or wherever the fuck you want.  Its all good.  Its all you/not you.  Look at you go!

Get Naughty

The dream started off at some sort of a firm meeting, but in this meeting it was celebratory, some people were singing, some were playing guitar.  There were people writing stories.  I felt that I didn't fit in to this for some reason.  I was sitting on a stairway, like a cross roads. I was watching people come up and down the stairs, entering and leaving the room. 

Then the scene changed and I was at some other place.  I realized that this new place was more participatory in how they were going to going to get creative with me.   Eventually I was with a woman who was going to be my mentor.  She had a British or Australian accent and called me bloke and then she said "Well, we are going to get naughty"  And I liked that.  At first I could understand her, but then I really understood her.  

Before this time, they were actually acting out what I realized was a partnership.  They would physcially connect with the people.  But some of it was too intimate.  Before they had their clothes halfway off, they would be moving on top of each other--kind of acting out the connection.  Before I was paired with my mentor, I was paired with the head guy.   And they were writing.  But I didn't know if I had it in me.  And then I could see my mentor's face.   She was a little older because in the dream I was younger.  But she was going to be my muse, all I had to do was connect with her.  So I must remember her face to conjure her up.

Of course, all this has to do with the servitor "inshallo" which I have communicated with through the practice j(allegedly in chaos magick) from guest Don Webb.  We shall see where this all takes me.

Piers and Charles and Phillip Marley

 

April 5^th would be great.  What time do you want to do this?   Had an interesting dream last night about your interview with Dr. Sardello.  That’s what I get for listening to podcasts before bed. Lol    Anyway, in the dream, I was creating a ceremony based on his statement that addiction is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived.   I remember that the way to get into the ceremony was to embody any opposites or mind created dictomies which led you to communicate with the mystery.  Then I kept waking up into different dreams within the dreams.  Good stuff!  At the end I was hoving over this one mountain town I was in and knew I was dreaming and I asked the people down below how I could get back to visit them.   They Told me “phillip marley on marlow street.”  So I guess I need to start looking for marlow street😊

Piers, If you are with Dr. Sardello, I’m with you.  I can already tell I love that guy.  The solution does not come from the mind.   The mind and the intellect just allow you to have a more luxurious prison cell—or whatever the Simone Weil quote was in your other podcast.  In my world, the mind can direct you to the ceremony or ritual or trance that allows you to come into contact with the “interesting”.   But when you are hanging out with the interesting--The mind is just an echo….lol

Now I remember the incantation that led to the dream.  I was remembering that us three (Piers, Charles, and me) have spend eternity together.  In this now (which is really eternal because there are no mind created dichotomies) we are going to share the space in the podcast and do the ceremony which creates the eternal now. The eternal now was created as something like a thought form. There was more to it, but that is something like that which sent me off into the dream world…

You guys seem like you have a lot to talk about...😏

Kim

 I can almost remember what Kim's face looked like.  Though I have never seen him.   Aside from dream space.

It was the usual 4 am.  It could have gone either way.  I get up to meditate, or I try to go back in. I went back in.  This time I was clutching my favorite piece of Lavakite (the one out by the old tree in the driveway).  To get back in, I went down stairs and in my mind I looked at the many facets of the lavakite.  I think that was the clincher.  I had heard that earlier in the day on one of my books on tape what amounted to  Basic mindfulness--to really really look at an object. Don't look at the forest, look at the tree.  Go beyond thinking of the usual impression of "grass".  Each individual blade.  The new perspective makes the front yard jump up like a jungle from another universe.  But I digress.

In my mind I looked at the lavakite, and its different facets of reflection.  And I was outside.  I might have been by the watertower with the other lavakite, or by the fence with the lavakite.  But I was outside in the backyard talking to Kim, who I have never met.  But before he was Kim, he was death, and I had initially recoiled, but did not run away from death.  Now that I remember it, I might have also been with Cassandra's dead neighbor, the one that likes Todd Rungren.  But I don't think she was there when Kim appeared. 

 Kim was a fairly average looking asian guy who I don't think I have ever seen before.   Short brown hair.  Reminds me a little of Jiao Jin in Tianjin all those years ago, but different.   I think he initially came up in a car. 

Kim took my hand and we started moving.  Through the backyard kind of fast.  Moving without walking.   Over the ground.   The movement was too fast and I let go of his hands and broke the connection, because I was afraid.  

I will explore more with Kim.  I will call to him in the future.   When I go back in.  Maybe tonight.