Listen/Patience for the Opening/You Got This/Mazatech Vibrations

Messages as the threshold, meditating in the sunroom:

1.  Yarrow as Dieta

2.  Intuition Guided texts/relationships/activity

3.  Empath Survival Guide

4.  Add Rhythmia Rock to the Collection

5.  Prayer hands to generate energy, when energy comes, move down chakras/middle pillar with each color generated by prayer hands

6.  Fasting

7.  Listening as Zazen/feeling/Patience for the opening

Messages over the threshold:

At Rhythmia there was something I was reluctant to speak.  I thought about how this was related to the speech impediment I had as a kid.  In my vision, I was called to speak, but couldn't.  There is also something about M that I did not want to disclose.  

Fear at the Threshold:  My fear is my ally.  It protects me from the descent into the host of spirits who want to feed on me.  I resisted and keep on resisting.  I felt I need to honor my fear and not descend into the spirit world.  This is the world I should inhabit and chose to inhabit.  The ground is my safety.  This world is my safety.  The ground is what I need to listen to, not the spirit world.  In this world the ground is the protection.  This is why we bury the dead, so they are not eaten by the spirits.

I am not going to Peru until I listen to this more.  This is why I told J. at the last Aya ceremony that "don't let me ever do this again.  This is the suffering of the spirit world.  We are resisting because that is what makes us human.

(interesting that earlier in the week I spoke with Safah about the practice of Chod, feeding your demons.  lol)

Transition:  What the spirits will eat from me, or the demons will eat is the ego.  They will devour the ego and in so doing, the false self that I have created which distances me from the divine.  And creates separateness.  This is what I want to happen, to feel into the barrier of the false self that separates me.  This is what I can speak about.  This is what I want.  This is my fundamental tension in my life.  The indecision that will not let go of the ego.  If you don't want me set me free....lol.  

Which leads to the path of love.  This is what the spirits are telling me.  Feeding the spirits is an act of love.  

But its not a choice.  The choice is not real.  What is forcing me to speak is not real.  Its all noise.  Just listen.  Go deeper into it.  You don't have to make a choice.  That which is making you make a choice is noise. That which is telling you to surrender is noise.  You don't have to do anything but listen.  What is underneath is magnificent and vast.  Just listen. 

Then I was in Mexico.  I was a Mexican woman.  This was not my dream.  She could not decide, she was afraid.  And I gave her strength.  I was the voice in her head that gave her strength, but I was her.  I am with you.  You got this.  We got this.  I am with you.  I am you.  We are all connected and our intentions are picked up by others.  We are interconnected.  We are the totality.  But our lives are the thoughts, the dreams of separateness.  Practice listening.  Practice letting go.  

And the dark energy came into me like the thief in the night.  But I saw the top of it, saw that there was an end and it released and went through my mind.  I was not afraid.  It did not stay.  In this my my "aya" other ceremony is a bad thought  It can be released.  All is connected.  The dark energy must be experienced and listened to.  

And the dream last night, somewhat asked the person who was next to me, who was me, and another voice answered a name that I have never heard of.  And it this way, he was with me in the same way that I was with the Mexican woman.  

Body of Prana

I am completely open to what we discuss but as a starting point I would suggest that I ask you about the body of prana and what you and Felix offer in Peru.

From there we could venture about how you work with prana and the medicine.  How the traditions dialogue with each other and support you and your guests, etc.

Now the good stuff and what attracted me to your work:

1.      The paradigm shift that you describe you underwent (In Jason’s podcast) to a world where there are active spirits manipulating the world and the steps you need to protect yourself.  I am interested in this, especially in contrast to other practices such as “feeding the demon.”  Is being “open” a problem?  How so? 

2.       Purging the spirits in ceremony vs. your own purges with prana.  How you skillfully work with spirits, especially based on what you have learned from the Shipibo. 

3.       “Losing your mind” in ceremony.  I love how you referred to it this way, or “popping off”.  I haven’t heard anyone describe it this way before. 

4.       The above is not just an casual interest for me.  I have lost my mind in ceremony three times.   I am lucky to not have been seriously injured.  In each I have been unsuccessfully restrained by “shaman” or their facilitators as I was trying to get away from what was happening.   I don’t remember all the details of what I was getting away from, but sometimes when I connect with some people I get another view of it.   What I do remember is that  I go to a different ceremony with different participants.   There is a repetition involved, and I don’t want to be there.   That is when I “pop”.   More and more I am realizing that I am still there in this repetition that I am resisting.  My primary spiritual practice is to listen to what entity wants that is running the ceremony.   Who I can sorta trust right?  Lol  But again, at some level, I am resisting and that is the repetition.   What came up when I listened to you is that there is something still with me, and I feel that I need to purgeJ

P.S..  Last night I had the idea that I should do what you did and lay on the ground and ask the mother to help me work with her message.  It was raining outside, I did not hug the ground, but I did hug a tree ( I live in a farmhouse with trees in the yard) and put my heart next to a vine going up the side of the tree.  As I backed away from the tree, I saw a skunk (I have never seen a skunk on the property) start walking towards me.  I backed away and it came right up to the back of the tree where I was at.   So I got that going for me.    Lol

Then I had dreams of people from Temple of the Way of Light come to a home that was apparently my parents home.  I was trying to tell them where they could sleep.  There were not enough places.  More and more people showed up unannounced.   I have never been to the Temple, but talking to you and Jason is certainly what brought this on.

Anyway, I sent you two links to connect to the podcast.  The first is from RINGR. Let’s try that one first.  If the connection spirits are not favorable, let’s try the Zencastr. 

Underwater

I was underwater.  Part of it was welcome, all the pain was being cleansed from my body.  And I welcomed that sensation.  But I knew I was beneath something, and there was a world above me that was full of light and fresh air.  I imagined somebody pulling me up to that air.

I had the fear that the mushrooms were evil.  That they were sucking my soul away.  And leading me from the path of God.  I had the image of me being married to some Woo Woo woman who was the daughter of the darkness or Satan.

Then I remembered the intention not to push away the "evil" that I was hear to alchemize it.  Bring it inside.  That Christianity had created a false dichotomy of separateness and that all was the light of the divine.  And today on my drive in, there is the sensation that I can control this, and that is the human path, to swim in the oceans.  And that as David Dupuis wrote in that article I am interviewing him about, that is the shaman's path.

Also there was a familiar image.  Like a dream I had, a very foreign dream but all where the characters were nothing like humans and the interactions were nothing like humans but it was running underneath everything on some parallel line.  And I'm getting this more and more, vague remembrances of some other non-human way of life, always involving struggle and redemption.

Its nice to be underwater.  Its nice to breath the air.