Tuesday, September 6, 2016

We Are The Safety Police and We are Here to Help: The Bot

In the beginning, there was a vast river. And on the banks of this river, there were deposits of clay.

One night, unbeknownst to the safety police, we went down to the river and began to fashion the clay. Some of the clay figurines were freaky and some were not.  Those that were freaky we fed the Turkish food.  We taught them to dance to the funky music and we gave them barley wine and margaritas to drink.  We discarded the clay figurines that were not freaky.

On the second day, we saw what we had created and we became concerned. We had created a non-diverse, albeit freaky ecosystem of clay figurines who could dance well and who liked the Turkish food and alcohol.  What would happen if the supplies of barley wine and margaritas suddenly disappeared?  Would our new civilization wither and die on the vine?

To test our hypothesis, our scientists conducted a peer reviewed study where we deprived our freaky figurines of the alcohol and the funk.  We gave them grape juice and Michael Bolton instead.  We sat back and observed.  And hoped.

On the third day, we went down to the river and saw what we had wrought.  To our delight, we discovered that the funky figurines had adapted to their relative deprivations by fermenting the grape juice to create the languedoc wine from the grape juice.  The Michael Bolton had been transformed through a series of sampling algorithms back to the funk.  We were most pleased.

But still I think the whole idea of holding our accomplishments up as achievements or to seek some sort of merit badge is to be avoided.  Indeed to advocate the devil's position, the approaching apotheosis of funk is like the excitation of particles from water into water vapor into clouds. Perhaps the silver lining is to be found when human beings, inspired by the funk become more vaporous, and scattered through the solar system by inhabiting asteroids.  That perhaps presents the duality which can be resolved when the waves crashing on the shoreline are transfigured by solar power and electric engines are disintegrated into zoning laws which eradicate the dichotomy between UFOs and trailers, into some sort of intimate relationship with the craft and you are no longer sedentary or nomadic, but a single gravitational reference frame.  A solar power RV that can become a boat, blimp and Japanese apartment in one cake where you can eat it too.  If the safety police don't catch you first.

Shoe fest 2016

No comments:

Post a Comment