All Soft and Squishy

We were born all soft and squishy.

Gradually, we calcify.

Then we die in a state of Rigor Mortis.

(pause for a breath)

We were born as verbs:  flowing, liquid, decentralized.

And we aged.   We were enticed into being nouns though pain.   Whole, unique, separate, and intelligent entities.  These illusions shielded us from our loneliness.   Gradually, we became rocks, islands, hard things.  Things we thought were real and tangible.  Things with truth, purpose, and integrity.   And our thoughts coalesced into tangible missions, purposes, and destinies.  We became demagogues. And our beliefs hardened.  And I'm not just talking about the invitation to Putin to further hack into the opposing Party's emails.

Then we became incapable of change and curiosity.  And we stopped flowing.   We put up walls all around us. And we stopped moving.

(time to take another breath)

When we were born, we laughed.  And we cried.  Each with its own set of vibrations casting aside the Procrustean bed that might have otherwise captured us.

And if we were lucky, we encountered the trickster.  The trickster encouraged us to set aside the paradigm in favor of the paradox, the binary in favor of the analog, the joke in favor of the sermon.

If we were unlucky, we encountered the priest, the politician, and the policeman.  And we joined the military.

But in any event, we did age and die.  And our bones and joints withered.

Until, once again, we became liquid fertilizer for a new squishy soft generation.

(take your last breath).

When the Saucers Land

(Speaking with a sense of ironic detachment: "Oh look, there's a flying saucer.  It just landed in the field. It's opening its hatch.  I think they want us to go in.  What do we do?  Do we join them?)

Lets Go!  What are you waiting for?  We don't have anything better to do this afternoon.

(I think we should reject the aliens for purely aesthetic reasons.   This is so cliche.  It's like we are in the middle of a of  Hollywood B movie.   And to be honest with you that saucer does look a little worse for wear like a prop from a salvage yard.  I know they are aliens and all, but if they have all this advanced technology, they could have contacted us ahead of time so that we could have put our affairs in order before we leave friends and family behind for an indefinite period of time.   With that advanced technology I'm sure they could have given us more assurance that they are not a race of mutant spiders with a taste of raw human livers which they are going to rip out of us as soon as we board).

You are such a buzz kill.   Let's go!  This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.   If we don't go now, we may never get a second chance.  As the Butt hole Surfers once said, "Its better to regret something you have done, than to regret something you haven't done."  

(If they really wanted us, they could have communicated with us telepathically and told us to meet at a special place.   They could have sent us video message ahead of time.  Let us know what we are in for if we join them.  If they can travel across the galaxy, they certainly could find out my email address.  Even Google has that.).  

Well what did you want them to do? Tell us to meet them in some remote location? Like Devils Tower in Wyoming? Close Encounters of the Third Kind? How did that work out in your Hollywood movies?   You would never have gone.   I mean really, what are they going to do? Send us an email message? We would never believe it until it happened. This is the best way.  I think this like a test, they only want humans who are capable of evolution and are open to new experiences.  They don't want humans that are afraid of the universe.  They only want humans who can grab onto the balls of life without fear and squeeze squeeze squeeze and that's what I'm going to do if you don't join me. You'll never live life unless you take that first step.

(But that first step in this case is a doozie).

This is the last straw.  I thought the last straw with you was when we were in Argentina and you refused to go paragliding with the non-English speaking tour guide.

(But I didn't want to go paragliding with you because I don't get a thrill out of floating in space above the earth with nothing to support you other than the dubious skills of the non-English speaking para-glide instructor and the wind.  I understand that some people get a endorphin rush out of that, but its not me.  Some people do not like heights).

Exactly, the question is really do you really want to do it?  I understand that you did not really want to go paragliding, but this is different.  Do you really want to travel and see the universe.  If you do, you should go and not let your fears get in the way.

(I think in this case that they have already used their alien technology to do a detailed psychological assessment of me ahead of time.  They know that I want to travel and see the universe.  They already know that I am going to go on the saucer.)

But if they already knew you would go, why didn't they just teleport you aboard? Surely with all this advanced technology you claim they possess, they surely could have done that.

(The reason why they didn't beam us aboard is because they are following a bad B movie Hollywood script and they can't come up with anything more creative.  There would be no tension in the Hollywood movie plot if they just beamed us aboard, so they gave us a choice to go.  This is where the melodramatic music starts in the movie.   We are faced with the choice.  What do we do?  Its such a predictable and overdone plot.   Again, that's why I think that we should reject the aliens for purely aesthetic reasons until they come up with a more creative scenario for us to board the craft).

I think there are a bunch of alien teenagers in the saucers right now cracking up at our conversation. They are in there saying, "dude, you guys think too much."

(We'll if they threw out a six pack or something, that would be a friendly gesture.  Or some wine.  I would be friends with them then, despite the fact that they are starring a bad movie.  But do you see any of that?  I don't see any adult beverages anywhere near that saucer, much less coming out of it).

But have you heard of not accepting candy from strangers?   I would be more suspicious of them if they started giving us gifts enticing us to come aboard.   I still think you are overthinking this.  Maybe they just want to take us someplace nice for dinner.   Maybe they know a good restaurant where you can get crab Rangoon in the crab nebula or something.   Maybe they will have us home by midnight.  Maybe they just want to ask us about this whole Donald Trump thing.

(Well if that's the case, they picked the wrong people.  Because I think we would agree that neither of us understand the Trump phenomena.   And there is only one thing worse than a B Hollywood Movie:  Reality TV.)

overlooking the pond produce calm amidst the unaccustomed study and test in middle age when such things were thought in the distant past. 

The Deepest Thoughts are Not Shallow

Voice 1:  I'm so deep right now I feel like I'm underneath an ocean.   Looking up at the sky, what do you see?

Voice 2:  I see the wisp of the clouds that remind me of the mist in the corners of my mind.

Voice 1:  I feel the corners of my mind like a bygone era.  Streaming in transcendence, yet lucid as a spider web in the morning dew.

Voice 2:  I see the airplane 30,000 feet high.  I see the spider 6 feet above the ground.  They look the same.  Perspective is all.

Voice 1:  Consider the spider, juxtaposed against the airplane.   If the spider was riding on the airplane and had a pilots license, would her eight limbs and their manipulations of the flight controls provide a more stable ride for the passengers if the plane encountered any turbulence?

Voice 2:  I see the fireflies lighting their asses.  I see the fireflies lighting their asses. I see the fireflies lighting their asses.  What does that make me?

Voice 1:  Somebody that is very intent on watching the posterior regions of the fireflies.  Additionally, if you are seeing double or triple vision, you may be someone who should consider seeing an ophthalmologist.

Voice 2:  Here we are in the dark cosmos without a light.  Who can provide us with a light of all that is known, unknown, yet to be known, and considered briefly, and then discarded?

Voice 1:  The fireflies that can light their asses can light the world.  It is like the thought, in the corner of your mind.

Voice 2:  Consider the silence and the birds breaking the silence.  If the bird, in its silence, defecates upon the pond, does it make a sound when the shit hits the water?

Voice 1:   Consider the clouds, like mitochondria in a vast cosmic play.  What is the genre of the play?  Is a tragedy or a divine comedy?

Voice 2:  The clouds are pink.  The sky is blue.  What color is a rainbow?

Voice 1:  If there is a rainbow in the dark, can anyone see it?  Can the birds in the morning wake up a rainbow that has slept through the night?

Voice 2:  If there is a rainbow in the night and the fluorescence of the algae of the sea lighted up the lightning bugs asses, is this not how Beethoven was inspired to compose Eroica?

Voice 1:   If we died right here and now on this dock, and they found us, would they be able to recreate our thoughts?  Or would they wonder if this was a dock, or a dock lobster?

Voice 2:  If we died on this dock, and they found this recording, they would think that we were mad? For is not all madness inspired by the inspiration of the divine?

Voice 1:  I must admit that I am slightly unhappy being stuck to this earth, without wings to explore the wispy clouds that circle overhead.

Voice 2:  Your mind is cosmic.  It can take you to the farthest reaches of the galaxy.   You must just let go.

Voice 1:  I don't want to hold her down, I don't want to break her crown, when she says, "Let's Go."   "I like the night life baby."

Voice 2:  I love the night life.  I love to boogie.  I like the disco, round.

Voice 1:  Three birds traverse the sky on an uplift.  One bird is shot by a shot gun and falls to the pond.  How many birds are left still traversing the sky on an uplift?

Voice 2:  There is a flight of geese flying in the sky.  In one flight, the V shape is longer than the others.  What does it mean?

Voice 1:  On the planet Quitar 8 in the far reaches of the Andromeda galaxy, the geese do not fly in a V shape.  Rather, they fly in the X shape.  The center goose in the X configuration achieves enlightenment, what does she posses that the other geese do not?

Voice 2:  The toilet paper that wipes the anus is my job description.

Voice 1:  Job said that his job was to clean up and wipe the anus of God.  He grew old this knight so bold, and o'er his heart a shadow, fell as he found, no sight of ground, that looked like God's anus.

Voice 2:  Job was not responsible for wiping the ass of God.  He was only responsible for applying the paper in a circular motion to dislodge the turds.  In this way, we, the turds of God, were set free from God's anus.

Voice 1:  My life feels like I'm driving a fast car through a wet paper bag.  And during the process, the car, powered by a Tesla lithium battery, loses its charge, thus making it a less than efficient mode of transportation, I complain to the FTC that the Tesla has misrepresented the power of its cars to drive though bags saturated with wetness, and in the process of my complaints, the stock of Tesla drops by 19 percent and in reaction to all this, Elon Musk, fearing catastrophe, launches his Space X rocket to Mars ahead of schedule, and without support, causing the Space X astronauts to land on Mars with limited provisions, and like in the Martian, are forced to grow their own tubers from the Martian soil. Yes, sometimes, my life feels like that or very analogous to that.

There is a different rendezvous now, away from the dock and Ranger Rick except for perhaps future purposes of nostalgia.  There is now air conditioning, and much better food:-)