Madison's and Mackenzie's "Shopping Spree Spectacular"

 Beep! Beep! Beep!  The alarm clock showed midnight.  I bounded out of bed, full of excitement.

"This is my favorite day of the whole year, I get to shop until I drop," I yelled.

Mackenzie, on the other hand, refused to budge.  She was still asleep.

"Do I have to go shopping?" said Mackenzie, still half asleep.

I gave her a look that told her she has to come.   So Mackenzie reluctantly dragged herself to the car, while I gabbed my purse and my coat.  My mom met us in the car and in no time we were on our way to heaven--more commonly known as the Water Tower Mall.

"Now girls, once we get there you girls have to stick together at all times," said Mom.  "Also, no fighting, you know what happens when you two fight."

I looked over at Mackenzie who as usual was ignoring me and was staring off into space.

"I cannot believe Mackenzie doesn't even care about this most special day of the year," I thought to myself.

At the mall, all the stores were having huge sales, and I was in a state of ecstatic bliss.   I went into Victoria's Secret Pink to get the 30 dollar half zip and the legging set, dragging Mackenzie along.  I offered to get Mackenzie something but she was just waiting to go to  Forever 21 for a grey sweater.

We shopped for another 3 hours going from store to store.  At Kate Spade, they were having an awesome sale, half off the sale items.  Wasting no time, I bought a black purse and a pink sparkly wallet.

For our grand finale we went to our favorite store which was Forever 21.  There was a huge line to get into the store because of the door busters.  I had a wonderful recurring dream where I won a shopping spree here.  Maybe this would be the year that my dream finally comes true!

"I am so excited to shop here, " I told Mackenzie.

"Whatever.  I want to leave this line.  Its too long and this is boring," Mackenzie replied.

"Are you serious?  Why are you acting this way?"

"I don't understand why people spend so much money on clothes when people in Africa are starving," Mackenzie stated.

"What is wrong with you?  This day is very important to me," I said, moving up to the front of the line.

"Whatever," Mackenzie replied.

I became furious and lost control.   Yelling at Mackenzie, I told her that I would force her to go in, even if she didn't want to go.   Then I pushed her to the front of the line and into the store.

When Mackenzie entered the store, lights began flashing and confetti burst from the ceiling.  Loud celebratory music erupted from all around.

"Congratulations," said the store manager approaching here with open arms. "You are the 100th customer to enter this store on Black Friday and you win a free shopping spree! Everything in the store is free for you in the next 10 minutes.

"What is your name?" said the store manager.

I was about to tell the store manager my name, but to my horror no one was looking at me.  They were all congratulating Mackenzie.  How could this be true? It was my dream to win the prize, not hers.  How could she do this to me?

However, even in my state of extreme disappointment and shock, like a trooper I focused my attention on the prize.  Even if I didn't win, Mackenzie could still buy everything for me.   After all, I was her sister, right?  She wouldn't spoil my fantasy.   I quickly made out a shopping list for her and handed it to her with precise instructions on what to buy.   I gave her the list and told her to hurry.

Ten minutes pass..........

Mackenzie returned and I was expecting to see a shopping cart full of precious cargo.  You can image my disappointment when she returned carrying only one item, a grey sweater.   I just about died.   I couldn't believe my eyes.

"You are so selfish, I wanted nothing more than what was on the list," I shouted.  But before I knew it I was on the ground, Mackenzie had tackled me.

Paul, the mall cop came running toward us trying to break up the fight.  He put both of us in handcuffs and escorted us into the mall prison and locked the cell.  It was torture being with Mackenzie then.  We had to stay in the same cell for three hours until Paul returned.

"Your Mom posted bail and you girls are free to go now," said Paul with a straight face.

Mom, however, was furious with us.  She threatened to take away my shopping privileges for an entire year.  Mackenzie just sat there, smiling the entire time.

Shopping is a game.   And I just lost.

I Challenge Donald Trump to Debate me on the Subject of Why he is not Fit to be President

1.  He is not fit to run his own company, not to mention America.  Now I realize there is a certain attraction with Donald Trump among some voters because he is a "business" person and not a career politician.  And that argument would have some charm, if he were indeed a good business person.   But he is not, and if his corporation had stockholders, he would certainly be booted out after his recent comments which alienated many of his corporation's customers.

His comments singling out Muslims for entry into the United States immigration process has affected his corporations' customer base world wide, especially in predominately Muslim countries.  Such comments are certainly counterproductive to marketing efforts seeking to create an image equating Trump's name with American luxury in countries such as the United Emirates, Turkey, Indonesia and Azerbaijan.  (click here for citation)  His exchange of tweets with the Saudi prince isn't helping either.  (citation) If an American CEO made similar comments affecting such an important client base world wide, he or she would likely be shown the door.

Indeed, even his business record may be called into question.  His companies have gone through at least four bankruptcies. (citation). Many have called into question the accounting practices of his recent incarnation.  (citation).

2.  How can Trump defend the U.S. Constitution when his remarks are directly counter to the spirit of the First Amendment?  The President is required to take an oath of  office swearing to support and defend the Constitution of the United States.  Including the First Amendment.  The First Amendment states that the United States will not invoke any law interfering with the free exercise of religion.   Hell, the United States was founded by a bunch of people escaping religious discrimination.  How then could we ever enact (which Trump is apparently advocating) a law singling out discrimination against Muslims?  It freaking boggles the mind.  I know he is doing it for what he perceives is short term political gain, but if you think it through, his statements run contrary to the very principles upon which this nation is founded.

3.  He is not fit to lead the Republican party, not to mention the United States. After the 2012 election, the Republican  National Committee hired consultants to develop a strategy on how to make the Republican Party more successful in the future. (citation)  In short, the findings were that the Republicans needed to do more outreach to Latino communities and women.  Trump's emergence for the time being cannot but help but to alienate and divide people, including Latinos and women. Latinos and women are the future of American politics in many ways. Trump is an archaic remnant of the dark-side of the American past--not its future.

4.  He is not fit to lead the grand experiment that is America.  His comments run counter to the very soul of America.  America, at its core is the unparalleled experiment in world history where disparate ethnicities have merged into a single country.  The great melting pot.  In a way, the United States is a microcosm of the world. If we succeed in living in harmony, it bodes well for the rest of the world. His comments run counter to this very grand experiment immortalized on the Statute of Liberty:

The New Colossus
BY EMMA LAZARUS

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she

With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

5. Donald Trump could not even own an NBA team in the United States, not to mention be President. Remember Donald Sterling, the owner for the Los Angeles Clippers who was fired after his racist remarks last year?  He told a female friend not to associate with black people like Magic Johnson for a variety of racist reasons.  Donald Trump's comments suggesting that American's should not associate with Muslim refugees solely on the basis of religious affiliation strikes me as similarly discriminatory.  If he were an NBA owner in my league, he would be given the boot. 

Happy Holidays to your and Yours.  

Dreaming of Uncertainty Principles

In the land of Nod, she began life in a relaxed lucid dream, much as her mother and grandmother before her.

There are only two forces, you see, which act to shape human beings:  nature and the environment.   And since the personality is largely formed during the first three years of life, it is the environment which is paramount.

Not so in the land of Nod, where dreams can be controlled by the dreamer. As such, the effect of the environment on the personality is negligible.  An after thought.  What is important are desires. Because desires in the land of Nod are endlessly fulfilled, the quality of desires determines the character of the individual.

But in all lands, even Nod, there are rules.

Most of her prison term in the land of Nod was served in Mimizon where the beds are small and uncomfortable.  Nevertheless, in Mimizon, she had wild adventures in the four corners of the realm and intrigue with the most handsome men.  She also vowed to the warden at the appointed times that she would never again dream the forbidden.  But still she stayed and was not be released.

In her dreams, her bed was a magical bed and in the bed she could produce anyone she desired, and interact with them.  But objects began to appear that she could not control.  One of the most persistent object was a white tree.  The tree beckoned to her, but she knew better than to listen to the objects in her dreams for it was written that voices in dreams are the path of nightmares.

"You are alone," said the tree.  I live as one with all objects around me.  Forgetting an individualized self, you discover the totality of who you are.  Love is forgetting your self.  Set aside you worldly desires." And so forth.

And there was a certain element of truth to what the tree said.  For she knew this was the Pando tree, the largest organism in the land of wakefulness.  And the tree was not alone, but part of a gigantic collective of one common root.  And for many years she avoided its call.

I'm not sure what pushed her to the brink.  When we are under stress we take drastic steps and throw caution to to the wind--perhaps regretting it later--perhaps not.  She might have been drunk.  Every dreamer eventually wakes up.  Or do they?

Will it settle or wont it settle. The flame of enthusiasm burns low   Maybe the author should take up a different future 

Rebel Rebel You've Torn Your Dress

When I get pissed off I just want to screw the establishment.  All those fat cats sitting around doing nothing, getting rich off the average Joe.   I'm not so sure what was pissing me off about the NFL, but I decided to do something about it.  And money was no obstacle.  Because I'm fabulously rich. Really.  And I think somewhere along the line I used to own an NFL team or two. Maybe I was just the General Manager of one of them.  I can't remember.   But what I do remember is that I have all kinds of money and I was really pissed at the NFL for the way it treated one of its openly gay coaches who came out of the closet and was ostracized by the NFL and its fans.  So I decided to do something about it.

The coach and me were sitting at a table at the Village Inn in Gillette, Wyoming.  I had invited him there because I wanted to hire him.  That would show the NFL.  Fuck them, I would bring the gay coach back.  I told the coach my plans.  I wanted to hire him for the new N.F.L. franchise team I was going to set up in Memphis, Tennessee.  So I started to tell the coach my plan:

"Look ______, (insert Coach's name--I can't remember what his name is but I'm sure you remember him--he was the one kicked off his team for being gay), you will have complete control of the football operations and player personnel.   I mean, I can handle the General Manager piece if you want to be the coach, or you can hire a head coach--whoever you want--and be the GM.  I just want to impress upon you that you will have complete control of the organization.  I mean I'm not going to be one of those owners like Jerry Jones who sticks is dick into everything and doesn't let the coaches coach.  I'll give you as much support as you want.   If you want me to be the GM and you be head coach, that's also fine.   You know more about the scouting operations than I do.  What is important is that you set up a team with anyone you want on it.  The best that money can buy.  And I don't care if they are all gay--we call the team the Memphis Fairies.  I just want to get back at the NFL.  I want your team to kick ass!

Well, even though the coach and I had a table by ourselves, I wondered if the people around us could hear us.  The Coach is wildly famous.  His excommunication from the NFL was front page news.    I could tell that everyone around us was listening in.  When the coach saw that everyone in the restaurant was eavesdropping, his speech changed to this high pitched accent that sounded just like a woman.   I told him that if he talked like that he would definitely create a stir at team press conferences.  Let them talk about that on ESPN.   Fuck them all anyway.

After we had finished our dinner, the door to the kitchen opened and we were motioned to descend down a stairway at the back of the restaurant.  One of the waiters warned us not to get too close to the cook, "stay away from him, he might hurt you."

"Fuck him," I replied.  "I'm far past doing anyone any good, and he's far past doing anyone any harm.  Its my coach you should worry about.   He might change you perspective on reality if you get too close to him."  

With that, the staff cowered away and we proceeded into the basement.  Though the ceiling was low, we could see a variety of crates, widely scattered, each containing a single dog.  But these were no ordinary dogs.   Their heads were misshapen as the growths that appear on old trees with jaws that could sever a man's leg's with a mouthful.  The din of the barking was incredible.

"Now you see my friend," I told the coach,  "My new training ground.  I will stop at nothing to get back at the NFL.  I'm not sure why I carry this vendetta against them, but I do, and I will pull out all the stops to get the first gay team into the Super Bowl.  
.
Incidentally, I'm not sure if the Village Inn is still there, but if it is, it was the Village Inn on that road that goes from the east side of Gillette to the Wyodak coal mine and power plant.  State Route 51.  My grandfather and I used to drive me there all the time when I was young and my parents were out of town.   You can read about that by clicking here.   I wonder if the Village Inn is still there?   Let me check on Google maps right now to see if the Village Inn still exits and give you the address.  (here insert a pause while I conduct an Internet search of Village Inn, Gillette, Wyoming).  Nope, the Village Inn does not exit anymore, at least at that location.  And the Wyodak mine is now Pacific Gas and Electric.  But that is of no consequence to this story.  It may be interesting though that I took to coach to the same restaurant that my Grandfather took me.  But my advice is not too look too deeply into such things.