However, lets assume for a minute that you didn't follow the State Troopers' advice and had your Spanish wine. You then pick up the book of your life, and start to read its well creased and worn pages stained with all manner of colorful sticky substances.
"Its a somewhat interesting story, but don't expect a sequel," says a shimmering prismatic light in front of you.
You hold up the book. "I don't want it to end. All the characters die in the end."
"Ah, you have developed an attachment to the plot and its characters. That's touching."
"Even you Mr. Light. You stop at the end as well. Frida Frank dies in a fire, George Helmcloth takes a bus and is never seen from again."
The prismatic light smiles, "But if you start the book again we'll all be back. Even Frida, George, and Alfredo."
"Honest?"
"Certainly," continues the light. "Its the same with you, Mike. You're may not realize it yet, but its the same with you."
Now on to the wasps. Wasps are freaking idiots. Not all wasps. Just certain species of male wasps. Simply put, they seem to like fucking orchid flowers more than female wasps. How that makes sense from an evolutionary stand point you got me. Kinda curbs the enthusiasm as well who those that think that the universe was created by some sort of divine or intelligent creator. Now I'm sure there will be those that say it fits into some sort of evolutionary design that the orchids get pollen spread by fornicating wasps so it fits some sort of purpose, but really? A wasp that prefers flowers over female wasps? Who are you crapping?
Even Darwin was kinda tripped out over seeing the wasps go at it. He was puzzled over the observation of frequent ‘attacks’ made upon orchids by their pollinators. ‘What this sentence means I cannot conjecture,’ he declared.
What is it that attracted the wasps? I mean, sure, the pink labellum of the small tongue orchid curves upwards, studded with two rows of shiny dark spots. And it kinda sounds erotic to say that, but come on, how could wasps be so confused? The orchids also produce no nectar or edible material. The wasps in are also normally predators, hunting caterpillars and other larvae.
It turns out on closer examination that to the male wasp, the orchid looks exactly like a female wasp, mimicking the precise dimensions and shape of the female's body. The reflections of ultra violet light to which wasps are so sensitive, resemble almost exactly the wings of female wasps and the shape and size of the female's abdomen. The orchid even has tactile features that either stimulate the male wasp into mating or guide his body into the correct position. Woo hoo!
Then comes the clincher: the odor produced by the orchid exactly mimics the sex pheromone of the female wasp. Signed sealed and delivered. The poor dumb fuckers don't have a chance. Beware the ravenous orchid, ye male wasps or you will be condemned to a life of pseudocopulation.
Of course, you can wonder how evolution would have developed such a weird state of appliances for the orchid. But maybe its not too unusual. Think of all the dumb human male fuckers who do the same thing with even less enticing sex objects and pornography. Indeed, if you had a chance to visit the St. Louis Museum of Contemporary Art a few months ago they had an exhibit where female (and male) sex dolls were decorated as an art form. Check this out here.
At perennial artisan ale after psycheuphora induced float. Ho hum thanksgiving otherwise. See above
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