Saturday, April 18, 2015

Mis-Remembrances of Things Past, Growing Increasingly Funky as Time Progresses


In Dueschelbottom, a small town outside of Munich, Germany, a splinter group of the Catholic faith engaged in various esoteric practices including the worship of a small woodland entity named Roberto.  Roberto's pedigree was ambiguous.  He was rumored to be everything from ancient faerie, to a dryad or sprite.   Some, (most notably the women in Dueschelbottom) thought he was an incubus.   For our purposes, what is important was that devotion to Roberto was claimed to offer various practical benefits including providing protection against enemies and revenge for past wrongs.  The old saying went, "When someboth doth ye wrong, get thee haste to see Roberto."

When certain denizens of Dueschelbottom immigrated to the United States, they took with them their worship and adoration of Roberto.  However, since Roberto did not travel well, Roberto stayed behind while the immigrants took with them a totem which would transfer Roberto's powers to the New World.  This totem took the form of an ancient Cuckoo clock.

Eventually, through many coincidences, my Grandmother Ces acquired the clock.

When we last encountered Ces, she had moved to Helper, Utah, to marry John, my Grandfather. Several years passed and the Great Depression gave way to the Second World War, and with that better jobs and pay for John.   Taking advantage of the opportunity, Ces and John began to populate the earth with children.   They stopped at five.  One of them, Tom, turned out to be my father.  But that is another story.

Still, times were tough.   Ces often wondered how much better life would have been had her father not been killed all those years ago.  Anger and thoughts of revenge inhabited her heart.  For Satoree , the gentleman who had run over her father with a horseless carriage all those years ago was still alive and by all reports doing well back in Altus, Arkansas.   He opened a winery before the war, and now had a contract with the U.S. Army to provide wine and grape juice to the troops.   He supposedly was making money hand over fist.  Ces fumed, then considered what her grandmother had taught her about Roberto and the Cuckoo clock.  So, one dark and stormy night, when the Cuckoo clock struck midnight, Ces prayed to Roberto for justice and revenge against Satoree.

Many years later, when I visited Helper, I stayed in the house my father grew up in on Duchesne Street.  One of the salient features about the house was the basement, which was dark and musty, and for a young boy visiting his grandparents, very scary.  The basement contained a bedroom, storage area, and an old coal furnace with a coal bin next to it.   I always felt uncomfortable in the basement, it gave my the shivers, and I never wanted to stay there long.

After my Grandmother Ces died, my aunt and uncle stayed in the house.   They reported many strange events:  noises, sounds of footsteps with no one present, and above all, a strange shimmering aura near the furnace in the basement.  My aunt, who has a predilection to believe things that cannot be seen or empirically demonstrated brought in her brother to investigate.   The brother claims to be in  touch with things of a supernatural bent.  He went to the basement and ran out of the house, never to return.   Later, he told my aunt the furnace contained the most powerful malevolent entity he had ever seen.  Its name was Santoree and it was trapped by a strange and ancient witchcraft, but was slowly escaping. 

 My uncle sold the house the next week and moved out of town.  They gave me Ces's old Cuckoo clock.  (It still works by the way).

If you ever visit Altus, make sure you stop by the Santoree winery.  I hear the wine is good, but I know better.





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