Saturday, April 21, 2012

A time for every purpose under heaven, Ch. 1

Sangamon Critters

Q:  What does Sangamon Critters do?

A:  We are a reptile and amphibian rescue group.

Q:  Huh?

A:  We are a small group dedicated to the rescue of unwanted reptiles and to herpetological education.   Our immediate objective is to provide safe and healthy environments for our charges and to find suitable, permanent adoptive homes for reptiles and amphibians that come in our care.  We will take in reptiles and amphibians that can no longer be cared for or are stray, if space allows. We re-home reptiles through careful screening and an adoption contract. We also spend alot of our time in classrooms with children teaching them some pretty awesome things about animals. We want to be able to make as many kids as we can LIGHT UP! These kids are as bright as the sun when you bring something wild into their lives.  We are supported solely through donations and private contributions, and we are run by a small staff of volunteers.

Here is our adoption policy:

. Adopters must be at least 21 years of age and live in a stable environment. Applicants must demonstrate the ability to care for a reptile financially, including providing veterinary care, quality food and adequate shelter.
Our reptiles are for pets only, breeding is prohibited.

The reptiles in our care were strays, abandoned or purchased from pet stores. Less than one percent were knowingly purchased from breeders. These circumstances make our reptiles unsuitable for breeding. If you wish to breed, please buy your reptiles from a reputable breeder.

 Prior to adopting out reptiles into new homes, the following procedures will be followed:

- All reptiles will be monitored for not less than 30 days to ensure a healthy appetite, determine temperament, and watch for visible medical problems. A fecal test will be performed. If appropriate, the animal will be treated for all obvious health problems and if necessary, a veterinarian will give the reptile an overall examination for any problems.

- Once determined healthy, the reptile will be listed with Reptile Rescue as available for adoption.

- All prospective adopters must fill out and submit an adoption application form and answer all questions completely and honestly.

- Once an adoption application has been received, Reptile Rescue will attempt to ascertain the knowledge, experience, and capabilities of the potential adopter has with regard to providing proper care for the species selected. A background check may be completed on the adopter to verify personal information. The adoption will remain pending during this time.

- Not all applications are approved.

- Adoption fees range from $25 to $100. Please ask about species specific fees

- Reptile Rescue may make courtesy calls to determine a happy and healthy adoption.

- During the first year of adoption, the adopter must notify Reptile Rescue if the adopted reptile has died or has been lost or stolen.

- Under no circumstances, will the adopter be allowed to sell, trade or give away the reptile. If care can no longer be provided for the animal, the adopter is required to return the reptile to us.

The adopter releases Reptile Rescue of any liability in regards to the health or behaviour of the reptile adopted. While it is understood that every effort has been made to provide an accurate assessment of the history and health of the reptile, Reptile Rescue explicitly disclaims warranties regarding medical status or behaviour of said animal. As the adopter you agree not to hold Reptile Rescue liable for any claims of injury to property or persons or otherwise caused by the reptile.

Our application process requires applicants to give us personal information about themselves (name, street address, age, etc) we use this information strictly to determine if the applicant can provide a good home for the reptile he or she wishes to adopt. An individual's information will not be disclosed to any third parties.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Rostov-on-Don, Ch. 5


Still waiting for Gogol Bordello's version of this song:





Everything is fine, Madam Marquise
Hello, hello, James, what news?
I’ve been away fifteen days,
At the end of the wire I call you,
What will I find on my return?
All is very well well, Madame Marquisa,
All is very well, all is very well,
However, though, I need to say one thing,
Just a mere trifle, almost nothing,
An incident, a silly thing,
Your grey Mare is dead,
But besides that, Madame Marquisa,
Everything is fine, just fine!
Hello, hello, Marten, what news?
My grey Mare died today!
Tell me, my faithful coachman,
How is it that this did occur?
This is nothing, Madam Marquisa,
This is nothing, everything’s just fine,
However, though, I need to say one thing,
Just a mere trifle, almost nothing,
She perished in the fire
That destroyed your stables,
But besides that, Madam Marquisa,
Everything is fine, just fine!
Hello, hello, Pasqual, what news?
My stables have they all burned down?
Explain to me, my model boss,
How is it that this did occur?
This is nothing, Madam Marquisa,
This is nothing, everything’s just fine,
However, though, I need to say one thing,
Just a mere trifle, almost nothing,
If the stable burned, Madam,
It’s because the castle was in flames,
But besides that, Madam Marquisa,
Everything is fine, just fine!
Hello, hello, Luca, what news?
Our castle is thus destroyed?
Explain to me, because I’m staggered,
How is it that this did occur?
Well it’s like this, Madam Marquisa,
Learning that he was bankrupt,
Not recovering from such surprise
The Marquis by gun did suicide,
Falling dead by the mantlepiece,
He knocked over all the candlesticks,
Putting fire to all the castle,
And it blazed from base to top,
The wind it blowed the fire,
Which jumped upon the stable,
And thus after that moment
The horse did die inside!
But besides that, Madam Marquisa,
Everything is fine, just fine!