I suppose that an interesting day leads to an interesting night. The day was good. I had two people at the wine bar tell me how glad they were to have met me and that I came into their lives (Jordan L and Wendy A). So that empty feeling became filled with friendship, connection and community.
Then came the dream and the delicious feeling that followed. It had something to do with wanting to be on a golf team, which is somewhat ironic because I don't really play golf. I had this image of Chevy Chase on Caddyshack. And was drawn to it. So I was trying to find the manager of the golf team. I went to sleep on what I thought was Bill and Wendy's bed, because I thought they had some connection to the golf team (which in real life is hilarious--they have nothing to do with golf), but when I woke up I found that it was not Bill and Wendy's bed, but belonged to some man who I don't know. He's non-plussed by the situation though, so I leave.
But then the interesting part happens. I the dream or while I was awake, I become connected to this kind of wellspring of dreams. They were coursing through me. I remembered all different kinds of dreams I had had in the past, dreams at universities in the middle of old towns, dream on the outskirts of towns in forests in near water, dreams of nightclubs and strange bands, I was remembering fragments of all of them, that I had forgotten, it was a delicious feeling. So much magic. And I felt like I was being given a choice. I wanted the magic over the mundane.
And when I woke I had the sensation that the flow of dreams is just like the flow of thoughts. You have thoughts that follow each other. And some zazen practices are not to the follow the thoughts. But instead of a flow of thoughts at night I was having a flow of dreams. Just fragments that didn't really lead anywhere but I was interesting in following them down, back in into the full dream, but alas they were only fragments. Finite.
So the steam of thoughts is like the steam of dreams. And what is interesting is the story. The story is what gives emotion and context to the thoughts. And that beautiful delicious feeling that still accompanies me today as I type this.
