Thoughts in/are Conflict

 I don't know how much more I can say here.  We think of thoughts as what we are, our consciousness.   Our little "me" creating a voice, or whatever.  But I'm not so sure.  My sense is that thoughts are the result of an internal dialogue or underlying conflict of different energy states.  And thoughts arise out of strife.

So I imagine this cat.  Let's call him Butch.  And Butch just gets along.  But does what comes in front of him without a lot of reflection or conflict.  But Butch does not have the flickering candle of thoughts going on in his mind.

So I'm in my mind now.  And I'm looking at this computer screen.  And I'm typing because I hear this voice in my head and I'm moving my fingers.  And then I stop.  And its quiet.  And I hear the noise of the office next door.   There is a quiet energetic pool and then there is a sound like a pebble dropped in the pond which is a thought ripping though the surface of my mind.

So if thoughts are the pebble in the surface of pond, what is our relationship to them?  We hold the space of the entire pond.  And we can go surfing on the rising and lowering of the waves to be sure.  But we can also feel it without reacting.  And we can create a bigger space.  Even bigger than the pond.  We can be in the forest nearby.  And the earth.  And the core of the earth.  And the sky.  My oh my, what if we swallowed the sky?  I guess we would die:-).  

Interwoven Dreams with Aliens.

 You ever notice in a hypnagogic state or elsewhere that you can remember a shit load of dreams you had that you can't remember in your so called waking life?  Its a little disconcerting.  Its like an entirely separate dream world that contains its own dream memory.  And dreams kind of flow into each other, so when you start to remember one of these dreams, it flows into another dream that you also didn't remember.  And last night, I was almost participating in a tapestry of all of these interwoven dreams.  And its like the tapestry itself was another dream.  And consciousness itself contained all of these interwoven dream images.  An entire reality consisting of interwoven dream images.  Very trippy.

Then I was at some building near UIS.  Like maybe where Ackerman plays music across from the stip club?  But not actually at that place.  More like a classroom.  And there were aliens there.  Like alien children.  And they were interfacing with a professor there.  And the interesting part is that I kept asking the professor questions about the methodology he was using to study the aliens, which in retrospect didn't make sense, because I could have asked the aliens questions directly.  But I didn't.  I was focused on the professor.  

Now this reminds me of another dream, which is interesting and proves my first point.  As soon as you get into the dream recall space, you find out that it is a wonderful tapestry.  And even though you can't always see the details, you know it exists and covers you in a strange way.

Wilson, the Church

 So to get into this there are two entry points.  One obviously is the Tom Hanks movie Cast Away.  Yes, we are talking about that Wilson volleyball.  Well sort of.  The other entry point is "idealism" --the transcendental German varietal espoused by (among many others) Immanuel Kant, the real piss ant who was very rarely stable.  Or so I'm told.  

Anyway, one of the basic beliefs of idealism is that the characteristics of objects in the environment are in the mind.  Its obviously way more complex and nuanced than that.  But that is all i need it for.  So lets start with idealism.  Our reality is all in our mind. Which in some way kind of sucks and its lonely.  And I imagine the young Mike all wacked out with ADD/HD or whatever they call it these days just feeling so disconnected from reality.  Ungrounded.  Like Tom Hanks on the Castaway, alone on a desert island.

Along comes Wilson.  And Wilson can be anything by the way.  In fact, its even better if its bigger than Wilson.  Like the whole sphere of the planet Earth.  Wilson gone global, so to speak.  And you connect with it.  In a paradoxically sort of way, its like the mind connecting with the mind, but if you keep going, keep honoring the wilson, you begin to have a relationship with it.  With the planet. With whatever.  You are no longer ungrounded so to speak, the ground is everywhere.  Where you put you attention is crucial.  And there is a certain magic with repeated attention.  Perception creates reality.  The mind creates the mind creates the reality creates the friend creates the church creates the planet.  And you go on creating singing a little song.  I'm not sure how the song goes, but I'm sure you can figure it out.