Ok, this adventure started where all interesting adventures start: in a dream or in Ayahuasca space. The dream, which of course is kinda like a nightmare (and nightmare is explained below), is that really at the end of the day when you go to sleep you go to a place that you always forget about during the day, but remember each night is a place of annihilation. You realize that what you experience during the day is some sort of illusion. And really, this is the end. So its like death. Death = sleep. And of course, that is the nightmare in Aya space as well, the endless repetitions and illusory nature of what you thought your life was. So this is where I was at last night. I remembered that this always happens at night and it is our inescapable destiny.
And of course, the practice is to go into it right? Relax into it. Go into the nightmare. And indeed, something about life, the endless cycles of life suggest that consciousness is always going to frame what is the phenomenal nature of reality into this endless cycles of this bad dream or nightmare. And if we solve it, it is going to reframe into something even more intimidating and foreboding. That is just the way reality works. But there is a strange gift or state of grace that allows us to navigate these endless waves and cycles by going into the illusory nature of this nightmare, embodying it, and allowing it to transform us.
Even on the meditation cushion, I feel certain mind states and can go into them like this. Indeed, I think at one level, all thoughts are similar to this bad dream or anxiety or disconnection with reality. And even when the energy states haven't quite coalesced into anxiety filled thoughts we can still go into them.
And in this way, anxiety is not negative, just a pebble that causes a perturbation in the pond. with waves going out with the opportunity to connect with them and allowing their energy to transform us.
