I had another one of those dreams last night where none of the characters or events were in any way "human". It was all about survival, I think, but even that might be too much of a human word. It makes me wonder what existence might be at it most basic level, and how consciousness is nothing more than shielding us for this fundamental reality of eating or being eaten. Or something in between.
This dream occurred somewhat early in the night I think and when I woke up and had even a rudimentary understanding that I had just had a dream the enormity of the dream beckoned me back in. I didn't want to get up or move, but I wanted to go back in and not run from it, which I guess is interesting in itself, and its sort of interesting that this inclination to face the difficult stuff may be getting more hardwired in my brain.
And I wondered if all this interest in spiritual things, and meditation, is all a way of self soothing which seems more and more fundamental to what I'm doing. Trying to settle myself down and comfort myself in the face of this anxiety of what is really going on underneath everything. Let it all in. Welcome it. Soothe it.
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