Monday, August 1, 2016

Tiny Radius of Awareness

I ran into an old friend last night in my dream.  I was doing some type of work in a boat.  The waters were rough and the boat struggled to stop on a rock in the middle of a bay.  After we stopped, we picked up a new passenger who happened to be my old friend J.  I had not seen J in years.  I knew at once why.  From his appearance it was obvious J  had been working as a stevedore avoiding detection. J's mien hardened when he saw me--then softened when I told him that I missed him.   Then hardened again when I told him that his former wife also missed him.  (Which was true--she never remarried).   

Our conversation followed off the boat to his house.  It was tiny and dilapidated.  He produced our old college yearbook and suggested that I take it.  When I asked why he disappeared, he told me that "I had to accept that some things just can't be explained.   That we will never know why the universe is here, or what exits out there beyond our tiny radius of awareness.  That's just how it is. "

I asked if he had any wine.    He just laughed and set his cat on my lap.   The cat was white and old.  It grabbed on to my forearm with its claws and began to scratch me with a malicious grin in its eyes. As I began to shake the cat away, I discovered it was not old, but it was rather a kitten.   It began to move with mechanical movements.  For some reason I knew the cat was some type of robot.  It started mewing and rubbing its whiskers against my hand, wanting attention.  

"Now its time to rest,"  J said.   "And shoot the bad thoughts out of the sky as soon as they appear."  When J smiled at me then I knew that he was not J.  He like the cat was some time of machine creation.  "Don't worry," machine J told me.  "Your body knows the truth of what your mind avoids.   Never forget this.  Even when you wake up."  

Then I knew that I was dreaming.   J died years ago.   I remembered this.  I saw the body at the funeral.   But I knew I was still in the dream.   So I floated up and out of tiny house, over the bay and into a great window of light shining above.  I wanted to go through the window, into the light, but I hesitated and grabbed onto the window seal.  If I let go, I would go into the light and I feared dissolution.  

I used to be able to do long division.  Now I have a calculator, even on my phone.   Without a phone, I am lost.

I used to be able to look at maps and orient myself and my surroundings.   Now with GPS on my phone, I don't need to keep track of directions anymore.   Without a phone, I am lost.

I used to be able to drive a car.   Now my car is driver-less, controlled by my phone.  Without a phone, I am lost.





Thursday, July 28, 2016

All Soft and Squishy

We were born all soft and squishy.

Gradually, we calcify.

Then we die in a state of Rigor Mortis.

(pause for a breath)

We were born as verbs:  flowing, liquid, decentralized.

And we aged.   We were enticed into being nouns though pain.   Whole, unique, separate, and intelligent entities.  These illusions shielded us from our loneliness.   Gradually, we became rocks, islands, hard things.  Things we thought were real and tangible.  Things with truth, purpose, and integrity.   And our thoughts coalesced into tangible missions, purposes, and destinies.  We became demagogues. And our beliefs hardened.  And I'm not just talking about the invitation to Putin to further hack into the opposing Party's emails.

Then we became incapable of change and curiosity.  And we stopped flowing.   We put up walls all around us. And we stopped moving.

(time to take another breath)

When we were born, we laughed.  And we cried.  Each with its own set of vibrations casting aside the Procrustean bed that might have otherwise captured us.

And if we were lucky, we encountered the trickster.  The trickster encouraged us to set aside the paradigm in favor of the paradox, the binary in favor of the analog, the joke in favor of the sermon.

If we were unlucky, we encountered the priest, the politician, and the policeman.  And we joined the military.

But in any event, we did age and die.  And our bones and joints withered.

Until, once again, we became liquid fertilizer for a new squishy soft generation.

(take your last breath).