The Spirit Inside Us

 I feel with that close attention and connection we can feel the spirit inside us that wants us to form a more intimate connection with the ALL.  If we can get out of the way of the spirit, it will by something that almost lead us by magnetism to where there is a greater connection with the ALL.  Though it may be painful.  The way it points to is almost through a threshold or barrier.

It is interesting that in hypnagogic states or dreams or simply with the energy of the night or even in some day dream states we can feel this spirit and what it is leading us to is like a foreign dimension of reality.  Something that we could not possibly imagine or experience with our own effort, like we have crossed a threshold into a new level of existence that bears little experiential relationship to where we left. It is almost like we have transferred into a new body or realm of existence.  We become a new person.  Of course, we never really were the old person we thought we were.  We are a myriad of fractal beings that can shift into an endless series of fluid others.  But there are no others.  There is only this continuum.  Perhaps it is the collective unconsciousness. 

Last night my attention was on my root chakra, over and over and over again the thoughts were moved down there.  And to the four bottom corners of my room.  And to the floor. Which was connected to the basement.  Which was connected to the earth.   And I kept moving the thoughts down there.  And I know that I had the feeling that as I kept worrying about my daughters in Las Vegas that my practices turned to a loving kindness meditation for them, their friends. my friends, my family, the people in my life.  And it turned that it was a giant blessing for them.  I was giving my life for them.  I thought about the archetype of Jesus, and I felt it more deeply than I had ever had, for this life is not our own.  And at this deep level, this was the purpose of everything.  The power of the sacrifice archetype.  And it wasn't really me that was dying, and in that way, I wasn't afraid anything.  The me was not there anymore. There was the intention only.  The intention that everyone could see their way through this.   Blessed.

Ode to Mugwort

 Late on a Saturday night (330 am), I awoke to find myself in the somewhat familiar place of sensitivity, pain and insight.  I had the days events replaying, and especially the frenetic energetic face and actions of my artist friend MS.  He was talking to me and gesturing over and over and I felt the energy inside me recoil.

Then I remembered mugwort tea.  So I decided to make some and so indulged.  After drinking it, I laid back down and was almost immediately in its grasp. I was directed to go to that place of focus.  Only this time it was a place of stillness.  This place can be  in an area behind my heart, and the base of my brain, at the back or my skull, in my tailbone.    It can be almost in any inner or outer body part.  However this time, it was at the back of my throat.

When my presence settled down at the back of my throat, it was showing me that I could rest there, while it sped up the thoughts and environment around me.  This silent quiet place of me was still,  but it was like sitting next to a fast moving spring, and instead of water, the moving parts were the memories, thoughts and visions of earlier in the day and other events.  It said that this skill would be useful as I may encounter difficulties at the end of May.

I continued to rest in this slowly moving place during the morning meditations.